The End of Date Kiss

by Mike

I am 30 years old, and have been on countless dates. Early on, I often was at a loss on when it was appropriate to kiss the girl at the end of the date. The penny eventually dropped as I noticed some consistent body language and behaviors, which gave me some direction on how to proceed.

Here is what I learned:

- Check your gut feeling on how the date has gone. If she has clearly not enjoyed herself and does not appear into you, a kiss is not in the cards. If the attraction is not already there, she will not be head over heels for you if you suddenly plant one on her.

- If you're not quite sure on the status of things -- for example if you can't really tell if her reticence is due to shyness (but she likes you) or disinterest -- then you need more data. Subtly try to initiate some physical contact.

Stand a little closer to her and see if she backs up or allows you into her personal zone. Casually tease her and then put your arm around her waist -- if she hugs up on you a little, that's a great sign; if she cringes you're probably kissing the dog tonight. Put your hand or arm near hers to make it easier for her to touch you.

Make direct eye contact, smile, and look at her reaction. Does she smile back and seem to enjoy looking at you? Does she appear uncomfortable?

The basic point is to casually put her into some situations where she cannot avoid giving you some body language signals about her feelings for you -- either positive or negative.

- Once you've analyzed the situation and you think it's okay to kiss her, then square up to her and just kiss her. Don't say anything unless it is unusually profound or funny.

Never ask her if you can kiss her. By now her body language and/or comments should have given you all the green lights you need. Give her a good kiss; a meek, hesitant kiss sends the same message as a weak handshake ('I am a wimp').

I have found that girls rate that first kiss as an important indicator. If you do it at the appropriate time, and do it assertively yet smoothly, then you'll score some big points.

Then she might invite you in for some coffee.....