When a Woman Gets PISSED OFF at You
Apologizing is often a bad idea unless you have done something so outrageously horrible that not apologizing would make you a monster.
Apologizing for some wrong does not increase respect or your chance of getting forgiveness. It merely points out that you were, in fact, wrong and that you admit that you did something bad. The more you apologize, the more wrong you seem.
I am sure that many people here will disagree with this, and I don't much care. This is the way that it is.
I have tried this both ways.
I once asked my girlfriend to go with me to a formal dinner party. She refused, for various reasons. I told her that was fine, and took another girl instead, as a friend.
She was pissed. I did not think I had done anything wrong, but I apologized profusely.
Apologizing just seemed to make her more angry.
I apologized again and again, each time more heartwarming, each time making her more and more angry.
I couldn't figure it out, until I actually thought about it and realized what a chump I was.
By apologizing, I was admitting that I had done something wrong. If I had kept my mouth shut, left, and let her burn off her own damn steam, she would have been apologizing to ME for getting so upset.
Instead, she held this little incident over my head for the remaining year and a half of our god-awful relationship.
Another time, I said some things about her sister, who was irritating the living shit out of me at the time. My girlfriend got very angry, and I realized that I was out of line. But I didn't apologize. I simply dropped the argument.
She kept up about it though, and finally I pretended to be angry at HER and left.
A couple hours later she was on the phone begging ME to forgive HER.
At that point, she was literally willing to do anything at all to get me to forgive her. By keeping my mouth shut, I waited her out until she thought that SHE was wrong.
This works best when you *occasionally but sparingly* apologize when you do something wrong, so that you seem to be fair-minded and not just some jerk that can't admit when he's wrong.
Apologize for maybe 25% of the things that you would normally apologize for.
You'll notice a dramatic difference.
