Erase Your Negative Inner Thoughts with Women
It's about 7:30 on a Saturday Night. You only have half an hour before you have to go pick up the beautiful woman you met on Thursday. Instead of thinking confidently about the situation, you worry that you won't blow her socks off with how amazing you are.
As the time gets closer and closer to pick her up, the more nervous you get. A whole bunch of negative thoughts start to pop into your head. "Gee, I hope I don't screw this up." "What can I do to make her think I am the greatest guy in the world?" "I hope that she likes me."
Automatically you have set yourself up for failure. Why? How much confidence can you possibly have in yourself with this type of negative thinking? Most men worry too much about the outcome. They feel that if they aren't perfect, that everything is at a total loss. Remember, "Nothing is ever going to be perfect."
Instead of going casually in, most men go in as a loose cannon. And when you beat yourself up mentally inside, your thoughts will eventually represent your outside actions.
The major problem with this is... Women can discern body language 20 times better than men can. If your words and body language don't mirror each other, she will automatically use that amazing sixth sense she has to detect that something is wrong.
You are taught to do so much by dating professionals that you can't concentrate on putting it all together. Have you ever had a golf lesson? Instead of learning how to do one or two things to help your swing each lesson, you learn 30 different mechanics on how you can do things better in one setting.
What does this do to you?
It makes you do the worst thing you can possibly do. It makes you start thinking too much. It is hard to swallow so much information all at once. So until you get to the point where you have a lot of the dating mechanics down, this is what you need to do...
No thinking is better than negative thinking.
Richard Bandler who is proclaimed as the father of NLP, first used this concept. One day he was driving down the road and before he could do anything, he had been struck by another car.
After this happened, Mr. Bandler had a whole bunch of negative thoughts going through his mind. He thought to himself, "What is this going to do to my insurance?" "What are people thinking as they are driving by?" "What am I going to drive now my car has been destroyed?"
He realized that in a time when he needed to stay positive, he was the most negative. It's easy to remain positive when things are going well, but what do you do to remain positive when things aren't going well?
If Mr. Bandler used the "no thinking process," this is how things would've been different. Keep in mind, you can't stop your thinking process. So you will always be thinking about something. The key is to limit those negative thoughts from entering your thought process.
1. You can only do one thing at a time. You can't solve more than one problem at any given time, so only focus on what you can do at that time.
2. Don't worry about what others think of you. You have enough to worry about in life, you don't have time to worry about what others think about you.
(Like in the above situation. Mr. Bandler couldn't control what others were thinking. So instead of stressing out about it, he could've just cut out these thoughts from his mind.)
3. If you can't replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts, than don't think at all. Just try it, it's not as hard as you might think.
4. She should be trying just as hard to impress you. You aren't the only one that should worry about a great first impression. She may be feeling the same pressure you are. So don't worry about putting her up on that pedestal just yet.
While I think it's important you go into a situation involving women with some type of plan. I wouldn't stress out about following that plan. You can only control so many things. The rest is up to her.
In the end limiting your negative thoughts by not thinking, is better than negative thinking.
Shaun Allen
http://www.niceguydating.com
