Respecting Yourself
Respect has been defined as "a healthy appreciation of an individual and their talents" and also as "an adoration and acceptance by peers for prestige, a specific attitude, skill or hobby."
Gentlemen, you must first respect yourself, your personal space, your time, and your own interests before you can honestly show appreciation for anyone else's. This is basic self-care, like brushing your hair in the morning.
If you believe that other people's time, space, belongings, and feelings are more important to you than your own, then you are not respecting yourself.
I understand that it is polite to be considerate of other people's feelings and property, but when you neglect your own in the process, you are dealing with a big problem. Many men who are not successful with women tend to worship the ground that those women walk on and insist on seeing the world through their eyes, while ignoring what they themselves see.
Melissa says that I should stop eating meat. Tracy wants me to start coming home at 9 pm because she does not like me out at night. I stopped collecting trains as a hobby because my girlfriend thinks that it is childish and we are going to sell them all tomorrow on E-Bay. I would love to go out with you guys but my girlfriend won't let me.
Be strong!
I am not telling you to be a brute or insensitive but, gentlemen, I remind you that YOU run your life and every decision that you make you ultimately will have to deal with... alone.
So as long as it is not illegal, dangerous, or deals with animal mutilation, your girlfriend should not be giving you advice, demands, or ultimatums on what you should be doing. She is not respecting your personal space and your freedom to choose even if she thinks it is idiotic. Just because she does not like what you are doing does not mean that YOU do not have to like it. You like to do what you like to do.
When you stop respecting yourself in order to please a girlfriend, wife, fianc� etc... she loses respect for you also, and stops "asking" you to do things and starts "telling" you what you are going to do, wear, eat, etc.
The average woman is disgusted by this, and if you have this type of mindset then you need to change it because it is FEMININE. Most women expect their man to take charge, make decisions, and gently correct her when she steps out of place. He is the man, that has been his job for the past 250 million years.
If your man muscle is like jell-o, you might as well accept that you are "bottom of the barrel" because only a female with serious emotional problems or a really crappy reputation will be attracted to you. If that is what you like... to each his own.
As for the rest of us we are learning how to take control of our lives and our destinies and be the men that we have always wanted to be.
Now society has had a big part in destroying the modern man. Women have been saying for years that they want a man that has more feminine characteristics than male characteristics. I believe that well-meaning women took what they wanted a little bit of and made a whole man out of it.
By talking to women that I know, and interviewing men who are more sensitive than tough, I have come to one conclusion: Women like tough guys with a balance of human emotions.
If you slice your hand open and are bleeding to death, and she is laughing at how much of a wuss that you look like... kick her to the curb. A woman who really cared about you would be too busy panicking and frantically trying to stop the bleeding instead of laughing at you losing your cool.
Now if you are afraid of something that can't kill you, make you lose your job, or do great bodily harm to you, then it is best if you don't publicize it.
But if your girlfriend gets a promotion, celebrate. If she loses her job, then mope around with her for a little while. If she says something rude to you, let her know on no uncertain terms that she better watch her mouth or she won't have a boyfriend. All while doing it in a cool, non-emotional way.
Don't be her therapist or girlfriend, but listen and nod a lot. Most of the time she already knows what she wants to do but just wants someone to listen so she can get it off of her chest. You can be her anchor and not even have to do much.
