You Can Change Your Personality
You Can Improve Your Dating and Social Skills. You Can Be Better!
Picture this:
You (Bob) are paid a visit by the great JuanWannabe (JW), seer of all things beautiful, visionary of everything suave and godfather to all Don Juans.
JW: *POOF*
BOB: Who the hell are you?
JW: I am JuanWannabe, seer of all things beautiful, visionary of everything suave and godfather to all Don Juan's. I have something to tell you.
BOB: Please enlighten me, Oh Great One.
JW: Bob, in 8 months time you will meet a beautiful woman. She will be intelligent, she will have a great sense of humor, and she will be compassionate, caring and understanding. She is a wonderful woman, Bob.
BOB: uh huh. Sounds good.
JW: This woman will be aching to find a man who is suave, confident, ambitious, humorous, a good conversationalist and a guy that is generally fun to be with.
BOB: Gee JW, I'm nothing like that. I'm not very confident, I can't even hold a conversation, I keep getting called a nice guy. *boo hoo hoo hoo*
JW: Silent you AFC imbecile!
BOB: Sorry.
JW: Bob, what you must realize is that anything about your personality can be changed. New skills can be learned, could you drive a car the first time you ever got into one?
BOB: No.
JW: Did you just walk on out your mother's womb?
BOB: uh, nope.
JW: But now you can drive without really concentrating on what you're doing, just like you can walk around thinking about other things, not really trying too hard to do it. But the first time you did these things, you didn't get them perfectly right.
BOB: Yeah, I had to keep doing them over and over until they were habits.
JW: You fell over a lot when you where learning to walk. You screwed up the parking when you were learning to drive and probably stalled often.
BOB: Yeah.
JW: Now that you have acquired the skills of walking and driving. If you trip on something when you're walking, or stall your car at a traffic light do you think you're a terrible driver or need a wheel-chair?
BOB: Of course not!
JW: Exactly, because you know you're perfectly capable of doing those things, they are skills and occasionally you will make mistakes. Stalling the car was a lot more frustrating when you were learning to drive. Messing up while learning might have made you think you would never be able to drive. BUT YOU CAN NOW. And stalling doesn't even bother you anymore.
BOB: Yeah, stalling isn't a big deal. Sure I'm embarrassed if I trip in PUBLIC, but it's really not a big deal. IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE.
JW: This is the first thing you must learn, Bob. Dating, socializing, making out, and having sex are all skills and all get better with practice. Like any skill you will mess up occasionally, and may feel like giving up sometimes. But don't give up. Social skills are more difficult to learn because screwing up is more embarrassing, so you must take it slowly.
JW: Just remember that your DJ skills (socializing, dating, conversation, etc.) are kind of like different muscles groups. They get better with exercise. But if you don't exercise each of them regularly, they become weaker and less flexible. It's NOT LIKE RIDING A BIKE.
BOB: Ok, so I can learn all these things by practicing them, and making sure I keep using my new found skills. But what about the beautiful girl, why did you tell me about her?
JW: The second skill you must learn, is WORKING in the short-term, while THINKING long-term. See that in my next tip.
