How to Know If a Girl Is Using You

Some Girls Are No Good

by Cesare Cardinali

You don't necessarily have to have her pay her equal share, but she should *contribute* positively in some way to the relationship.

So your method is even better than actually making her pay 50% because when you get people to do things for you, they usually end up liking you more. It's some sort of psychology principle whose name escapes me at the moment.

If you make enough cash and feel good paying for them then there is nothing wrong with that at all as long as you know why you are doing it (i.e. because you want to and know that she will reciprocate in other positive ways; not because she is a user who wants a free ride).

I think the problem arises when the guy feels like he is simply a chump paying and not getting *anything* in return (sex does not count). I have been there in a long-term relationship and it feels like crap.

In this case, the easy cop out is to tell her, "You know honey, you should pay more, this gets expensive for me."

From there, it will lead to problems because she won't respect you and you won't even feel like she is sincere when she does pay.

The ideal situation in my opinion is for this stuff to happen naturally. For instance, the check comes and you'll pay but she'll have tried to pay.

Then another day, you'll stop by after work and she'll have cooked you a great meal and serve you some great wine. She'll buy you little things and you'll do the same, etc. All natural.

Doc Love offers the following test to see if your woman is using you for money:

When the check comes, you simply leave it on the table and keep talking. She should make a move to pay it if you just ignore the check. If she does not and says instead, "Oh honey, let's hurry up and go" or something along those lines, then you know that she is using you for money.

I have tried this and the check just stayed there for a very long time. The girl finally said, "Come on, pay the bill, we should get going." It was an eye opener. (She had actually told me the night before, "Next time we eat out, I'll treat you.")

So then I knew that this girl is using me and that I should watch out.

I ended up telling her, "Didn't you say you were paying?" And she said, "Oh, do you want me to pay? I forgot that I said I was paying."

I'm not kidding here, dude. She said that. So I said, "Forget it" and paid.

Like I said before, if she does it because you told her, then it means nothing. I want them to pay or contribute because they want to and not because I tell them they should.

So if you feel like you've got to take turns paying for dates then that is a problem in the long term.

And if she simply does not want to contribute positively either with money or energy then she's not valuing the relationship as much as she should.