Why Women Test Men
Most women, especially beautiful women who are accustomed to being approached all the time, devise ways to try to "tell things" about men by observing certain aspects of their behavior, or by telling them things and judging them according to how they react. In short, women 'test' men, especially ones who they feel some attraction to, sometimes knowingly, sometimes not.
But why?
The reasons are as follows:
1) Defense Mechanism
Women do not like to be taken for granted. Do you know what is the single most common piece of advice that women give each other?
"Don't make yourself too available."
If all the tests and games that women play could be represented as a pyramid, with each level depending on the one below it, (something like Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs) then this phrase would form the base of the pyramid. Most female tricks rest on this fundamental principle.
One of the greatest fears that a woman has is that she will give her heart to a man too easily, and that he will take her for granted and break her heart. Women confuse men, feign disinterest and act evasive at times in order to try to communicate to men that they cannot be taken for granted. In case you did not know, women absolutely hate to be taken for granted. If you remember anything from this article, remember that.
2) Screening Process
As any good article will tell you, women are attracted to men who are a challenge and are disinterested in men who they think like them too much, or who are needy.
Women who can afford to be very selective are attracted to men whose attention they cannot take for granted. This makes a man different than the rest of her hapless admirers who flatter her incessantly.
Women sometimes test men to find out what category a man fits in. If a woman cancels on a man, and she likes him, she may tell him that she is very sorry and that she will call him and make it up to him. Then, instead of calling, she sits back and waits to see what he will do.
If he calls within three days to either set up another date or to ask why she didn't call, or if he calls at all within three days for any reason, he has failed. If he calls after three days, he has barely passed, it is up to her discretion. If he simply refuses to call until she contacts him, then he has aced the test with flying colors.
The idea is that the needy guy is insecure and needs assurance, so he calls too soon. The average guy calls after three days, he's neither here nor there. The real man doesn't call until he hears from her because he is patient, secure, has his own life, and knows that the ball is in her court.
3) Ego Inflation
Some women are addicted to attention, the most addictive kind being the male, flattering variety. This is where a woman plays head games with a man in order to keep him chasing after her to boost her ego.
Nearly all women know the age-old trick of changing the amounts of attention that a man is given, it is literally the oldest in the book. What she will do, basically, is pretend she likes a guy only as a friend one minute, then the next, flirt with him. Or, she will give a guy a friendly, flirty greeting one day, then give him a slight nod the next. This drives the average guy crazy, causing him to chase her.
When a woman acts friendly, then cool, the guy thinks that he might be losing her, so he tries to reel her in by being extra nice, and paying more attention to her. This is how the attention junkie gets her fix. It does not mean that she is a bitch. This is just how some women are, and it is the man's responsibility to not fall into this trap.
THE ABANDONMENT COMPLEX
Be extremely careful when dealing with a woman who grew up in a family where the father walked out at a tender age.
At an early age, the father, the dominant male figure in the house, is symbolic of his gender. Abandonment creates issues of guilt in the child, and does a number on the girl's ability to trust men and her unconscious opinion of men on the whole.
If the mother shields the girl from the full impact of the blow by not being bitter and by being careful not to tarnish the father image, or if the girl simply gets over it, then so be it. However, if the mother became bitter, then that bitterness tends to pass on to the daughter.
The daughter, in turn, later goes on to test men rigorously, trying to make them jump through burning hoops before she lets down her guard, because at a young age, her trust in men was shaken.
However, she is not necessarily attracted to the men who put up with her bullshit and stick to her even though she blows hot one minute, and cold air he next. Women who have this problem have serious baggage, and you have to decide if she is worth it.
If you decide that she is, you have to walk a tightrope. Your behavior should subtly convey that you will not hurt her, but do not jump through her hoops. Never be more than 5 minutes late for a date, and if you say you will call at a certain time, call at exactly that time. But if she is late do not wait for her, and when she is acting coldly, do not tolerate her mood swings.
In other words, you have to still be a challenge, but be trustworthy. It is a delicate balance, and few can master it. Gentlemen, this is from personal experience with such women. When you are talking to a girl and she tells you that her father walked out when she was little, proceed with extreme caution.
Marlimus
marlimus@hotmail.com
