What I've Learned About Women

by Terminator911

GET A HOBBY:

Join a gym, learn to play a guitar, whatever... just don't let your life revolve around women.


SHUT UP:

The less women know about you, the more they want to know. Keep your problems (every kind of problem) to yourself, stop whining and bitching about everything, have a positive outlook on everything, don't be a pessimist.


WHAT TO TALK ABOUT:

Go with the flow... the conversation has to be about 70% her and 30% you. Talk about her favorite subject--herself. Ask open-ended questions (why, how, etc.).


LISTEN:

Listen to what she has to say but never change your beliefs for a girl. Pay attention to what she says, she'll drop hints as to what she wants to talk about. NEVER give a girl a direct answer, unless the answer is no. Let her work to deserve the information you gradually reveal about yourself. Immediately direct the conversation towards her when you don't want to answer more of her annoying questions... bust on her by saying something like: "Come on, you can do better than that... let's leave those questions for when we are married."


BE DIRECT:

Don't beat around the bush. If you call a girl to ask her out, do it immediately after she answers; the longer you wait, the harder it will be. And never use the phrase "would you like to", that's begging. Instead use "let's." "Let's go to the lake next weekend" sounds better than "Would you like to go to the lake next weekend?" The first one is more a command than a question.


ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN:

There's nothing worse than calling a girl to ask her out and then asking her to decide on what to do. You are the man, therefore you are the one who has to take charge and decide what the two of you will be doing for the date. Make it interesting and different -- bowling, miniature golf, pool, foosball, jogging -- anything physical is a great idea because you won't have to do as much talking and therefore will have less opportunities to mess up with something that you say.


5 THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:

1) Gum for nice breath
2) Chap Stick for nice "kissable" lips
3) A pen
4) Paper
5) Your wallet

* Always have condoms somewhere in your vehicle and house.


LESS IS MORE:

When dealing with women, less is better than more. Compliment them less (only sparingly and when they have been nice enough to deserve one), call them less (once a week), stay on the phone less (5-10 mins, max), see them less (once or twice a week, max), less gifts (only once in a while, if she's been nice).


DATE MORE THAN ONE AT THE SAME TIME:

You will be happier and avoid a lot of headaches if you are dating more than one girl. If one blows you off, you go to the next one.


MOVE ON:

This is one of the most important things to learn -- don't be clingy and move on to the next one if a girl is giving you problems or just blows you off. You have a better chance of getting her back by moving on than by being a wuss who can't live without her.


ON THEIR THOUGHTS:

Forget about what women want and all that other bullshit. Women don't even know what they want themselves, so it is your duty as a man to make her believe that you are what she wants. You do this by being a challenge and by not taking their shit. Treat women's thoughts as non-existent.


YOU ARE NUMBER 1:

Always put yourself first... protect your heart at all times and think from the "I" perspective when making decisions. Most women are selfish, so should you. Build a pedestal for yourself instead of building one for her.


DON'T JUST BE YOURSELF:

Read an article by Allen Thompson on this topic; it is a fascinating article.


PASS THEIR TESTS:

Women will test you to see how much you will let them get away with. It can be something as insignificant as whining about the type of music that you listen to, and asking you to change the station. This is where you put your foot down, and say something like: "Now that you are whining about it, that's all that I will listen to". Pay attention to these little tests, if passed, the women are yours from then on because they have found a MAN.


BE A CHALLENGE:

I have covered this topic above in "less is more" ... end dates first, hang up first when on the phone with her, etc. Always have doubts about your relationship to her. She'll get the hint that you are probably seeing other girls.


BE A GOOD LOVER:

Study books or articles on becoming the best lover she's ever had. If done right the first time, they'll keep coming back for more. Practice and become a good kisser as well, women love it.


DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU:

Be calm and don't show anger when it comes to interacting with women. Don't give them the pleasure of seeing how they can affect you so easily. Walk away if you need to. It is not the end of the world. Take arguments calmly and hear her side of the story first, that's the easiest way to win any argument. Realize that most of the time, she'll say that she's pissed about something and it will be something totally different. It is your job to find out what it is that she's pissed about.


HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:

Make fun of them as often as possible... don't take life too seriously. Women go out on dates to have fun, not to be bored. Be funny every chance you get.


HAVE FUN:

After all is done, at least you will remember the good times you had, even if she was playing games with you. At least you had fun while she played stupid games.


YOU ARE BETTER OFF:

Being alone is better than being with the wrong girl -- you'll be happier.


LOVE:

Love and relationships are for women only... they made this stuff up while men were building and making the world what it is today. As far as a man is concerned, love is just another word. After all, there's no universal meaning of the word love.