Do You Have Great Friends?

The Value of Having Great Friends and Not Wasting Your Time with Lousy Ones

by Gettingthere

As part of your "total improvement package" (improving your looks, career, etc. to ultimately become more desirable), it is important to remember the value of close male friendships.

Two years ago, I thought I had friends, but I really didn't. If I had thrown a party no one would have come, unless perhaps "nothing" else was going on at all, and I was offering free beer.

I did hang out with friends, fairly often actually. But I was always "second class." They were doing the organizing and inviting, I was just a tag along. Sure they were friendly, and I was happy to go out with them, but the relationships were weak, even though I'd known these guys for years.

Around 2 years ago I started making new friends. I was gaining very basic experience with girls at the time, which was leading me to become more confident with everyone, and more sociable too.

I was able to overcome my fears of dating by taking guys out to a movie, or dinner. We each paid our own way, and of course we aren't gay. I see girls out in pairs all the time.

This also allowed me to check out some of the nicer restaurants in town, so I would know where to go in the event that I would have an actual date with a girl.

In the past two years I have essentially gotten rid of all those "friends" who were perhaps never really my friends anyway. I still have their numbers, but we never really hang out anymore.

I replaced them with friends who are more like me. I have met them through common interests in working out, politics, photography, and clubbing. I meet with some of these friends every weekend for the most part.

I suggest ideas for things to do and people actually come along. Things as simple as seeing a movie, or as complex as visiting another city for a weekend. I live a much more full, interesting, and healthy life now because I have made real male friends.

I can remember chatting with girls and saying things like, "I've been meaning to go to New York sometime" and she says, "You should go, I was there last weekend." I would be floored at remarks like those because, to me, that all seemed like such a big deal.

The girls I'm interested in, it seems, are very active, with girlfriends, guys, etc. They go clubbing, they travel, they attend important conferences locally or far away, they have guys take them out to fancy places to eat, they go rock climbing, they help the homeless. And, of course, they are smart, beautiful, social, well-spoken, and feminine. They are interesting people, much more so than I once was.

I may not yet be quite what they are looking for, but I am a much more interesting person these days. I do fun things, I hang out with interesting people who like me as much as I like them.

I think it is very important to have male friends with whom you regularly do interesting things.