The 5 Core Steps of a Seduction -- And What Happens If You Skip Any of Them
Here's the five core, basic steps of a seduction:
First open the girl or her group.
Second, build your social value to the girl.
Third, once you have social value, screen and accept her.
Fourth, isolate the girl away from her friends.
And fifth, build comfort with the girl.
You'll want to progress through the steps – open, build your social value, screen and accept, isolate, and build comfort - in basically that order.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is that they SKIP some of these critical, core steps – and consequently fumble the seduction even though they do everything else right!
In this report I'm going to show you WHAT happens when you skip steps – and WHY girls are less likely to sleep with you if you do.
Skipping step 1 - Not Opening
The consequences of not opening are obvious – you'll never meet anyone! You always need to open – ALWAYS. Don't wait for girls to talk to you or wait for them to give you a "sign". Read Opening Magic if you have trouble in this area.
Skipping step 2 - Not Building Social Value
A HUGE problem I see with a lot of guys is that they jump right into comfort building before they've built any social value to the girl.
Guys who girls consider to be "just friends" chronically skip the building social value step. The guy acts like another girlfriend, listening to all of the girl's problems and being there to comfort her. The guy is there to really feel for her and listen to her and swap personal stories and experiences with her.
The problem is, the guy doesn't have any social value to the girl by being simply "comfortable". Yes, she *is* comfortable around him - she may even feel a special connection with him - but she's not attracted to him sexually either!
When this same guy goes to a club, he opens the girl and tries to build that feeling of comfort right away with her. He jumps right into talking about instant connections, personal stories, and mining for the girl's values.
This strategy of building comfort doesn't work – not if you don't already have social value with the girl first.
Instead, you come across as a "nice guy", a guy who is being overly nice and caring to get into her pants.
To illustrate, imagine you were lost in a strange city and a homeless man off the street you didn't know – someone with no social value to you – came up to you and started giving you directions. He is being really "nice" to you. Still, you probably won't feel in any mood of making an "instant connection" with him, because you're betting that the only reason he's being nice is to ask you for some money.
Likewise, if you have no social value to a girl and you jump directly into comfort with her, she may suspect you have ulterior motives.
Of course, sometimes going straight into comfort building with a girl WILL work. Let's say you walk into a bar and start talking about instant connections with a girl or boring small talk - and she responds! However, even here, a girl is responding to the social value that she perceives you have – from your strong nonverbal cues, a strong entrance, and your good looks – not to the content of your comfort building.
And generally, immediate comfort building will not work at all on extremely beautiful women who have lots of guys after them. Extremely beautiful will block your attempts to build comfort with them by shutting you out - unless you've built sufficient social value to them first.
Skipping step 3 - Not Screening and Accepting
Another problem is when guys skip screening and acceptance. They go from building attraction and jump directly into isolating the girl and building comfort with her.
However, if you skip screening and acceptance, you might have TOO MUCH social value to her while you try to build comfort.
Remember, while building social value, you're increasing yours (through social proof, leading her friends, nonverbal cues, etc) while simultaneously decreasing hers (ignoring her, teasing her). Your social value moves up while hers moves down.
If you jump directly into comfort building without screening and accepting her, there's a social value mismatch. Your social value and her social value don't match – in fact, yours might be so high she'll be wondering why such a cool, attractive guy is opening up to her on a personal level.
She may suspect you're suddenly interested in her over her friends just to sleep with her. She'll feel you'll just sleep with her and then dump her, because she doesn't understand why you chose her - causing her to resist you.
That's why you need to screen and ACCEPT a girl. Accepting a girl means giving her green lights back. Like saying, "Wow, I didn't realize you were so creative and intelligent… and you dress cool too – jeez, I think I'm beginning to really like you (hug)."
Once you've accepted her, she'll feel like there's a legitimate REASON that you isolated her from her friends and are opening up to her. She'll feel like she's EARNED your attention. She'll feel like her social value is on par with yours. And she won't feel like you're just talking to her because you want to sleep with her, but because you're a socially valuable person who has met another socially valuable person - her.
Skipping step 4 - Not Isolating
Another problem is when guys don't isolate the girl from her friends, and try to build comfort right there in front of the girl's group.
Here's what happens: the guy builds attraction in front of the girl's friends, screens and accepts the girl, and then starts going into comfort right there in front of the entire group.
And here's the snag: if you try to build comfort one-on-one with a girl in front of her friends, her friends will try to stop you.
Remember, building comfort with someone is primarily a one-on-one process. It's an intimate interaction. 90% of your energy has to be focused on the person you're building comfort and deep rapport with.
Meanwhile you have to ignore her friends, who just minutes ago you were entertaining. Her friends will quickly get BORED while you build comfort with the girl you like. They might even get JEALOUS.
They'll want to win back your attention by interrupting and distracting you. They'll try everything in their power to break up your one-on-one interaction with the girl you like and pull you back into the building social value phase. Or they might even pull your girl away from you and leave once they realize that they're no longer the center of attention.
Once you have social value with the girl and have screened and accepted her, isolate her from her friends!
Skipping step 5 - Not Building Comfort
Another slip up guys make is not taking the time to build comfort with a girl, one-on-one, apart from her group.
Again, here's what happens: the guy builds his social value by entertaining her friends, having social proof, teasing the girl, and so on, and then immediately tries to isolate the girl to take her home for sex. He just skips comfort building altogether.
The problem with this is, although you may seem like a cool guy to the girl, and she's attracted to you, you're still just a "fun club guy". She doesn't really know anything about you. You're almost more like a larger than life cartoon character to her. You're not a real person to her.
So even though she might feel highly attracted to you, she also feels no real connection with you as a real human being either.
It's as if Brad Pitt walked into the club, walked up to the girl he liked, pulled her into the club bathroom (isolation) and started groping her all over. Yeah, she would feel attraction but she might also might feel cheap and valueless that all Brad Pitt wanted from her was sex - without even asking her name or spending the time to get to know her!
If you are just an attractive club guy to her, with no real connection, even if she did sleep with you, she'd feel guilty about it afterward.
If you are just an attractive club guy to her, with no real connection, even if you do get her number, she may feel weird talking to you later on the phone outside of the alternative-reality club environment.
That's why it's so important to build comfort and build a one-on-one personal connection with a girl – otherwise you'll come across as a player who is not interested in the girl for whom she is as a person, but interested in her only for sex.
Does that mean if you skip a step, you'll never get laid?
No, of course not!
If you skip any of these steps you can still pull off successful seductions.
If you jump right into comfort building and skip all the other steps, you might already have enough social value from your looks, nonverbals, and the balls you had to approach her alone. But this will not usually work on the more socially valuable and beautiful girls – you risk coming off as looking like another "nice guy".
If you skip screening and acceptance she might be wondering why you're opening up to her in the comfort stage, especially when you have so much social value and she hasn't earned your respect yet – so maybe you're just talking to her for sex. The seduction can still work, but you'll lose some girls unless you screen and accept them.
If you skip isolation, it makes your job of building comfort that much more difficult, and any number of distractions from her friends could get in the way.
And if you skip comfort, you'll come across as a "club guy" or a player. Party chicks may sleep with you just based on the attraction of your social value, but you'll lose the girls who like to feel some kind of personal connection with a guy before they sleep with him.
As you can see, you can skip ANY of these steps and still have successful seductions. But your success rate will drop. For maximum success, you have to execute ALL five of the core steps.
But that doesn't mean each of the five steps has to take any amount of time.
For some girls, the building social value stage might only need to last three minutes before they're incredibly attracted to you – while for other girls, it may take twenty or more minutes.
You can screen and accept a girl in less than one minute – or drag it out for five.
And for some party girls, all they need to know is your name to feel comfortable having sex with you – while most other girls you'll need to build comfort with them for at least twenty minutes if not for a few hours.
As you can see, seducing beautiful women with consistent and reliable results, is not the kind of thing you're going to master overnight. It's a SKILL that takes some PRACTICE. And it just takes some time to get good at all the steps so that it all feels easy and natural.
Now here's my offer to you: If you give yourself the time, I'll give you the knowledge and techniques of how to succeed at it.
It just takes five minutes on your part to get The Seduction Science 2nd Edition course - which you can be reading in just five minutes from now - and let Seduction Science allow you to bring beautiful women into your life.
From the moment you start reading your eyes will open to a whole new reality as everything you were doing wrong before suddenly becomes clear. Most importantly, you'll be able to pinpoint exactly WHAT your mistakes were and WHY they happened – so that you can make subtle changes in your behavior to start turning your failures into successes.
Why do 2% of the men have sexual access to 90% of the most beautiful women? Wouldn't you like to level the playing field and have more skills than the "naturals" who play largely by the dumb luck of their good looks or wealth? Enjoy your life the way it was meant to be enjoyed – with a beautiful woman who adores you on your arm – or two – or three. Check out The Seduction Science 2nd Edition today and start building your life the way YOU want it.
Derek Vitalio
Learn the Science of Seduction
http://www.seductionscience.com
