How to NEVER End Up As "Just Friends"
Hey Man,
If there's one DREADED phrase almost every guy who's ever pursued a woman has heard at some point in his life, it's this:
"Let's just be friends."
Or:
"I don't want to ruin our friendship."
Have you ever wondered why women say this?
I mean, after you've put so much time and effort into a woman and the "relationship", she only wants a friendship.
But why isn't she interested in more?
What's going on here?
To answer that, think about your own life for a moment:
Aren't there different areas to it?
And aren't there different people who play very specific roles in each one of them?
Here's what I mean:
You have your close circle of friends and sometimes family who you share personal things with.
You have co-workers who you share a similar line of work with.
You have your "advisors" who guide you with their area of expertise.
And then you have women who you share "sexual" or "romantic" relationships with.
Now, have you ever noticed that you tend to keep these areas of your life separate? There are exceptions, of course. But let's not get into the dangers of "asking a plumber for roofing advice".
So here's the bottom line:
Women are the same. They have different areas to their lives, with different people who play specific roles in each one.
And guess what?
When you're in one "category" of a woman's life, you'll tend to play the "designated" role assigned to that category, so...
HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
Guys who end up as "Just Friends" with a woman they want to get into a romantic relationship with approached and communicated with her in a way that placed them in a different category than the one they wanted — without even realizing it.
So the way to solve the "Just Friends" problem is to stay away from the other relationship categories of her life and focus ONLY on a ROMANTIC relationship with her.
Here's how:
CATEGORY #1: Women's Personal Lives
We all have personal problems or issues in our lives, right?
You know, maybe it's financial issues, health issues, relationship issues, or just plain "personal" issues.
And obviously women are no different.
So if what you want is a romantic relationship with a woman, it's best to avoid getting involved in her personal life.
Now, this doesn't mean that you're impersonal. Not at all. But what it does mean is that you refuse to get involved in listening to or trying to "fix" any of her issues for her.
If you want a romantic relationship with her, stop playing her therapist by getting involved in her personal life.
Instead close that "line" of communication off completely!
So if a woman ever brings you her personal problems or complaints, just say something like this:
"You're a big girl now. I think you can handle it."
But refuse to play her therapist by listening to her whine and complain. And never, ever give her advice she never asked for.
Got it?
Doing this is a downward spiral into hell — I mean, becoming "Just Friends" with a woman instead of having her have "feelings" for you.
Then there's also the "necessities" of life, like: doing laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.
Unless you're going out to do them together, as in you're doing your own stuff too — which can be great fun — don't get involved in her "necessities of life".
Because if you do, and I know it can sound "bad", but she'll start seeing you as her little "servant". You know, a guy who tags along and is eager to help her do things she doesn't want to do herself.
Just don't go there.
CATEGORY #2: Women's Professional Lives
What's the REASON you go to school or to your job?
Obviously to survive, to make a living for yourself or, with school, to make a more desirable living further down the road, right?
Again, of course, women are no different.
And though there is a social aspect to work or school much of the time, they're really at their job or in school for the very same reasons as you... to survive.
And though not critical, but especially if you're inexperienced with dating and handling women, it's usually best to remain on a strictly professional level with the women you work with — and sometimes go to school with.
Here are the reasons why it's generally best NOT to pursue a romantic relationship with female co-workers or classmates:
1) Whatever happens between the two of you, unless one quits or drops out of class, you will have to see each other if things don't "turn out".
And that can sometimes make for an awkward situation that will continue to come up each and every day from then on.
2) If you decide to date a woman who is "above" you or is in an "authority" position at the company, like a manager, a few crucial problems can come up:
Because you want to always assume the leadership role in romantic relationships with women, if you're taking "orders" on the job from a woman you're dating, that's likely going to transplant itself into the romantic relationship... and ultimately cripple the dynamic of the relationship.
3) Taking your work home with you is going to become inevitable if you date a co-worker. You'll likely end up finding yourself discussing work issues outside the work environment.
And I don't know about you, but when I leave work and am on my time, I don't want to think about it. I want think about my own personal life... and not get sucked into "work politics".
Now, I'm not suggesting to never, ever date co-workers or classmates, but sometimes it's wisest to just not go there.
Just remember, unless you really know how to handle yourself in these situations, it's generally best to avoid them...
... at least until you've stepped your game up.
CATEGORY #3: Women's Social Lives
Let me ask you this...
Do you honestly like or enjoy the company of everyone you meet?
Unless you're overly nice, of course you don't.
Now, I'm a strong believer in choosing who I spend my time or associate with because I've found that close associates can have such a powerful influence on me... so I've become very selective and only choose people who are going to empower me (and vice versa).
Naturally, there's a good chance you're not going to like everyone in a woman you date's social circle.
And why spend time with people you don't really want to?
Honestly, the reason then becomes about pleasing a woman.
Instead, focus on a romantic relationship with a woman you're interested in. But don't get caught-up in her social network if they're genuinely not the type of people you want to associate with.
The same goes for her family:
Avoid placing yourself in a position where you feel obligated to spend time with her family — if you'd rather not.
So if you've been seeing a woman for awhile, by all means, meet her family but avoid getting stuck in the "having to" spend time with her family — unless, of course, you've already met them and you have things in common.
Also, if you get to know her friends and family too soon, it can cause other problems...
Like women's professional lives, dating a woman who has the same close personal social circle as you can cause undesirable and unnecessary repercussions.
For example, in the case of a break-up, it can really mess up your network — especially when someone gets their "feelings hurt".
The gossip can get out of hand.
And not only that, but if you intertwine your social circle with a woman you date, your lives start becoming almost "dependent" on each others.
So always maintain a core social circle outside and independent of the women you date.
Always!
CATEGORY #4: Women's Love Lives
Have you ever noticed that attractive women tend to get romantically involved with guys who AREN'T in their social circles or in their work environment?
And if they do, have you noticed that they hook-up right at the very beginning?
Why is that?
Well, it happens because the guy focused on a romantic relationship with her from the very beginning!
You gotta start doing the same. You really do.
After all, what do you really want from a woman you're interested in?
Don't you want a romantic relationship with her?
Sure, of course you want to get personal and make a great connection, but what you're really after is tapping into her "sexual" side.
That's what you really want, right?
So target that from day one!
And you know what?
Getting involved in her personal life, absorbed in her professional life, or keyed into her social life if what you really want is a romantic relationship, is usually going to work against you!
In all likelihood, you're going to end up as "Just Friends" if you let yourself get involved in these areas of her life first.
So instead FOCUS on a romantic relationship ONLY.
And once you have established a romantic relationship and you decide to go steady (usually months down the road), that's the time to start getting interested in the other areas of her life.
But before that, it can distract you from your own personal path.
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