Potentially Awkward Situations
I recently had a day. But not just any day, it was one of those days where the sun is pushed way up in the sky, the clouds slowly drift by, and cats and dogs live together in perfect harmony. My tips are buried in the story.
And believe it or not, this day was my first pool day of the summer. Some of you may remember the "tip" I wrote about the young lady who tried to "Let's Just Be Friends" (LJBF) me. That was about a year and a half ago. I still date her (did I mention she is hot LOL) and enjoy just hanging out with her. Anyway, this young lady invited me and my 3 year old son to the pool. Perfect, some rays, a little water, hot babes, and a hot 'friend' with me.
So we get to the pool and this particular pool has two levels. The upper level is very large, with a place to swim, play volley ball in the pool, and lay out in rafts, then it snakes around in a channel not 8 feet across, to empty into a waterfall. This water fall is the start of where we were, the KIDDY pool. About 4 feet deep at the deepest, with one section that was only 16 inches deep, but had like 20 sprinkler heads spraying water in the air.
As I was walking in I did the slow scope. Hot blonde in front with two kids around, two women across the pool with 3 kids between them, and another hot blonde near the end of the pool with her young son.
So I walk in, help my HB9 get situated, then I jump in the pool with my son. The two oldest kids (9 girl & 8 boy) think my son and I are having too much fun. Remember, I am a single dad with custody, my kid already hits the weights, doesn't eat junk food, and if you ask him what we do to hotties, he will tell you, "Tease them, and run away."
So I start playing with the two kids. One other boy of about 5 joins in. We are splashing, and yelling, and dunking, and having a great time.
About this point I notice the kids are getting so wound up, they are starting to splash the adults on accident. Perfect! Up, out of the pool.
Now, with my date watching I proceed to introduce myself to every woman there. I shake hands, flirt with everyone for just a moment, get a name, use it, and I am on to the next one.
Now, the one I wanted to meet was the first hot blonde I mentioned. Dark tan, long blonde hair, that, given how skimpy her electric blue thong was, was real, and killer chest.
I find out the 9 year old girl is hers, but the 8 year old boy (the king of boy wussies) is her nephew and she is glad I am playing with him. She says her sister treats him too easy. Just for notes, my 3 year old son is tougher, stronger, and can take this kid in everything but size.
Anyway, I go back to playing. The 9 year old girl falls in love with me. (That's the problem with being an attractive man. All women, of all ages, are very aware of you.) This darling little lady asks if I am single.
Now, my date is within earshot. "Yes, I am single... thank God." This darling points at her mom and says, "I like you, why don't you marry her?"
Now her mom (HB9 skimpy blue thong) gets real nervous, and is obviously attracted to me, but now kinda annoyed her daughter is rushing the game. I look at her mom, and tell the young lady "Well, she is cute enough, but I don't know if she can cook yet, and she doesn't look like she can keep up with me!"
Instant reaction. My date laughs, the daughter tells me she is a great cook, and HB9 starts giving me the "oh, I wouldn't worry, I can keep up with you."
Now this is where it really starts getting interesting. I see her actually "start" in her skin. She then looks at me and says, "I know you."
Me: Sure you do, can't you think of a better pick up line?
Her: No, really, I know you. We met about 6 months ago, when you and your son were out for pizza.
Me: Really? What happened?
Her: You flirted with me, and got my number. I remember it perfectly! Don't you?
Me: No, not at all.
MY date is laughing from across the pool.
Her: You don't remember? How many girls do you meet?
Me: Hmmm, do you want that figure by the day or week?
Her: By the day!
Me: 2 or 3.
Her: Why so many?
Me: I am single.
Her: Oh.
Me: Let me ask you something. If I got your number, did I call you?
Her: Yes.
Me: Did you call me back?
Her: No. But I had lot's going on, and timing is everything. It was just a hectic time in my life.
Me: I see. I called, you didn't call back. That must suck for you. I don't like you. (sly smile)
Her: But you never called again.
Me: Nope. You get one, and only one, opportunity to be with a man like me. Wrong time or not.
At this point I just go back to playing with the kids. My date joins me in the pool, and we all splash, dunk, play tag, and laugh for a while. I tease HB9 a little about being too stuck up to join us.
After an hour of this, my date and I get out, and the kids keep playing. The little girl gets out and lays by me in the sun, instead of her mom, half a pool away. I had only been out of the pool for a few minutes, when HB9 ask if we want some pizza. I tease her about ordering food that was around the first time she says I picked her up. I told her you can never go back, and she shouldn't live in the past. My date and her both laugh at that.
Anyway, I say yes to the pizza, ordering for me, jr., and my date. Then I offer money to help out. HB9 tells me she has it. I tell her I appreciate it, then, as she is walking away, I tell her to hurry up.
After pizza, we are sitting around, just chatting. HB9 looks at me a time or too and mentions how timing is everything. Perfect.
Thru my interaction with her, I never changed. Not when she informed me she didn't call me back, not during the teasing, or pizza or anything. Fun, confident, teasing.... like it or don't. I didn't care.
Anyway, I have to take jr. to the bathroom..... ahh, the joys of fatherhood (I do love it). We walk up to the bathroom, and walk past the most stunning read head I have ever seen. OMG. Dark tan skin. I mean really dark, like almost the color of a Brazilian.
She has a very tight little body, a light six pack for abs, small chest, long, very soft looking red hair, and is wearing a see thru white bikini. I take jr. in the bathroom, on my way out I walk up and say "hi, are you single?" She kinda startles a little, takes off her glasses, looks at me, looks at jr. then back at me. I can tell by her face she is confused and not all that interested in me..... yet.
She tells me yes, she just moved here for school. I make a little small talk, but I can tell she is not into me. Perfect, I have nothing to loose. Not 2 minutes into the conversation she starts sipping a smoothie of some kind. Without hesitating, I say.. "You shouldn't drink those!"
Her: Why not?
Me: They will make your boobs small. (I then look down at her chest and let her watch me do it) Damn, I am too late here.....
Her: OMG, I can't believe you said that.
Me: (I look her dead in the eye and pause, pause, pause....) Yeah, I said it. (sly smile) (She then looks away and kinda smiles.)
Me: Glad you got to meet me..... (and I walk away)
Normally, I would have done a number close there, but I didn't have a pen, and if she did, I would have liked to seen where it was hiding. I walk back to my date and HB9 on the lower level. There is no way they could have seen the exchange.
My date: Meet anyone up there?
Me: Yes.
Date: Cute little red head in a white bikini?
Me: Yes?
Date: (to HB9) I told you he would!
I just laugh and tell her I love being her friend (after a year and a half I still tease her about that).
Not 5 minutes later, here comes the HB10 red head. She sees me, see the other 2 hot women I am with, and kinda stops in her tracks. Then she starts for the gate. I yell to her "No reason to be stuck up, you can come say hi!"
She starts heading my way, and I stand to get her name (I hadn't yet). I introduce her, then we make small talk with her laughing a lot. At one point, when I could feel a little sexual tension growing, I asked her (with my date and HB9 listening).
Me: Can you cook?
Her: Hmmm, well, mac and cheese....
Me: Are you rich?
Her: (laughs) No.
Me: Are you bisexual?
Her: (laughing again) No.
Me: I just don't think this relationship is going to work out.
Her: (laughing) Getting rid of me already?
Me: Well, you have cute little freckles. Little angels kisses! I guess we could still be friends.
Her: (blushing) I have to go now. Do you have a pen, I will give you my number.
Me: (laughing) Do I look like I have a pen?
Her: Ohhh, well, uhmm......
She then tells me where she works etc. (NOTE: I did go by her work the next day and get her number. She is coming over for dinner tomorrow!)
Ok, our little party starts to wind down. We are getting ready to leave and HB9 ask if I still have her number. Hello??? No, I don't still have your number. So she asks for mine. I give it and she programs it in her phone.
She asks for my last name. Uhmm, no, you could be a stalker. My date then says "Hey, you used that on me!" "Yes, I did, and I meant it, you didn't get my last name till I was sure you were cool." My date then agrees with this, and HB9 tells me she needs something cause she already has a Brian in her phone. I laugh at her and tell her to get creative. My date tells her what to put. Funny stuff.
Fast forward 5 hours. My date and I are now at karaoke. We walk in and I know a few people, as does she. Her and one of her gf's start chattering, so I get up and start introducing myself to every person in the place, a few minutes of conversation and I am gone.
Met a table of 2 cute chicks that just got in from Hawaii. I played them against each other so they would tell me the great stories about each other, and it worked like charm. Each one trying to out do the others.
I also met a cute blonde HB9+ who use to be a bartender at this place. I tease her about getting fired (she took a different job) and how she couldn't handle customers like me. She is sitting one table away from the two Hawaii chicks and she is sitting with 6 guys.
My date finds me, and we start chatting. She wants to go back to her place, so we get up to leave. As we are walking out HB9+ grabs me, gives me a huge hug and ask for my number, just so she can keep in touch *wink*. I give her my number with my date standing right there.
She then asks if I want hers. No, not really... with a smile. She hits me, and my date slaps my arm. As HB9+ gives me her number, she looks at my date and says, we are just friends and I am so cool, and she just wants to hang out. I say, in a very clear voice "Don't worry about her, she swings both ways."
My date blushes. Every guy at the table opens his mouth dumbfounded. One even took offense LOL. The HB9+ perks up... "Really, cool, here (gives my date her number too) you guys call me, we will hook up!" I tell her maybe, but she has to cook US dinner.
As we start to walk away, I introduce my date to Hawaii chicks. Apparently one of them is bi, and she is interested in hooking up with us too. LOL. I love my life. My date and I head back to her place.
Well, it's not your typically tip(s), but in this one day, I ran into some of the most potentially awkward situations.
1) a girl who had already given me her number, and then blown me off.
2) a stunning 20 year old (I am 33) who wasn't interested at first.
3) my date who was originally my LJBF chick. She really is cool.
4) my date getting busy talking with friends at a bar (I always walk away and meet people at the bar. Anytime the girl gets to talking with someone else, go meet men and women.)
5) the bi bartender.
6) the bi Hawaii chick.
Oh yeah, and there are some GREAT examples of cocky and funny. Fearless cocky and funny works magic.
I have to run now though, meeting the HB9 in about an hour. And my date called and asked me out for this evening. I accepted, which means I will have to cut HB9 short this afternoon.
Guess she should have called back the first time. As she mentioned repeatedly, timing is everything.
Brian
FFASA@aol.com
