Should You Tell a Woman She's Beautiful?
Question from a reader:
I have a friend that always seems to know when to tell a woman that she's beautiful and it scores him major points. I, myself, never seem to get the timing down and it's been hit or miss, more often miss. Is there a certain criteria to know when or should I just say it when I feel like it?
Mike
My response:
Surprisingly, this is a rather hard question to answer.
Why?
Because the answer is: It depends.
There are certain factors involved in telling a woman she's beautiful that can both help you or hinder you.
I've used the "You're beautiful" line as a compliment opener in the past, with mixed results.
When done right, it can be very effective.
When done wrong, you can shoot yourself in the foot.
Seducing a woman has a great deal to do with controlling the dynamic of the interaction you have.
I'm a strong advocate of something I like to call "active disinterest" when it comes to approaching a woman.
When you approach a woman with a "you're beautiful" line, you run the risk of displaying "active interest."
In other words: You're being aggressive.
Sometimes this works. Sometimes it doesn't.
However, I know what you mean when you ask if there is a certain criteria to be followed when telling a woman she's beautiful.
Here are my thoughts on the subject...
You shouldn't use this compliment as an opener unless you're extremely advanced and experienced at approaching women.
You can use this opener once you've established attraction with the woman you're talking to.
If you do this before attraction is properly established... well, you're going to tip your hand too soon.
See, extremely hot women hear they're beautiful all the time. They know they're beautiful.
This doesn't mean they don't like being TOLD their beautiful. But the compliment loses a lot of its impact...
UNLESS they're attracted to you.
When someone you're attracted to gives you a compliment, it will make you feel good.
In fact, it will most likely increase your attraction to them.
Telling a woman she's beautiful after you have gotten her attracted to you is a way of signaling she's met your criteria for attraction as well.
At this point, romance can begin.
Your friend, who seems to know when he's properly attracted the girl, instinctually knows this.
So what you need to do is realize when the woman is attracted to you before you give her a compliment like this.
How do you know a woman is attracted to you?
BODY LANGUAGE, of course!
Look at what signs she's giving you. Pay attention to what she's doing with her arms, her legs, her eyes, etc.
This is the best way to know when she's ready to start hearing nice compliments from you.
But a word of warning:
Do not over-do it!
Heaping too much praise on a girl can actually have an adverse effect, because too much of it loses its meaning.
If you display too much attraction for a woman, it will turn her off (at least in the courting stage).
You need to walk that fine line and continue to flirt with her, but not tip your hand completely until the time is right.
If you really want to learn more about how to pick up on a girl's attraction signals for you, and you're serious about getting good at interacting with women, then I want you to check out my ebook The Art of Approaching right now.
You won't find a better resource anywhere for learning how to deal with women.
Good luck,
Joseph Matthews
