posted 03-12-2002 02:06 AM            

When you're in a line or doing something boring (like work), why not spice it up with that attitude? Works wonders!

A recent example:

A girl was in a happy mood (for whatever reason). I gave her a Pookish grin and said, "You're happy because I'm here!"

Big smile on her face and she shook her head.

Then I said, "You're happy because you're here at [company name]!"

She laughed but shook her head.

Then I stopped people passing by and said, "Ma'am. See her? She is HAPPY because she is at [company name]!"

And the lady would be, "Oh really!? Why, that's... blah blah"

And I'd get another person and say the same thing! I'd get their reaction.

Then I started getting people to guess why she was happy.

The reaction? She was laughing so hard she was almost on the ground.

I don't think it has anything to do with being cocky and funny but the ability to make any situation fun. For all girls want the FUN guys.

posted 03-12-2002 10:33 PM            

Here's another one I tried tonight. It did involve talking about sex with girls I just met. I know that some would consider this a big mistake. But, I wasn't trying to get a relationship started. I was trying to be bold, get over my last bit of shyness and insecurity around girls. I don't want to be seen as shy, too nice, or non-sexual ever again.

I've been going out every night and working on bringing out more of the jerkiness in my personality that I've been avoiding in the past. I was afraid of the girls getting offended and not liking me. This fit my male logic. However, it doesn't fit female logic. As evidenced by my recent so-called girlfriend dumping me very unceremoniously. She was always attracted to jerks, and complained she wanted a nice guy. NICE GUY DR_FEELGOOD TO THE RESCUE. What a mistake. After 2 months, it was over. But, I digress.

I tried to become the "good guy" that Pook and others talk about, but I couldn't seem to find that middle ground between nice guy and jerk. SO, I decided the best way to find the middle ground, was to go to the other extreme. So, I'm working on becoming a total jerk, so I can find my way to becoming the "good guy", and never the "nice guy" again.

I was standing in the sex and relationships section of a bookstore, when two fairly pretty girls wandered over. They were both checking me out. One of them said to the other, that it was illegal in our state to have sex in a telephone booth.

"uh, oh" I said.
One of them said, "Yeah. Uh, oh." And we all laughed.

Then she said it was also illegal to have sex with porcupines. I said, "at least I don't have to worry about that one." They both laughed. The conversation continued. One of them said something about "this poor guy", referring to me.

I took the opportunity to say, "No, I'm a guy, I like sex, and I don't apologize for it." Getting the perfect Don Juan attitude out, while keeping the joke going.

Then, I proceeded to tease them about their sexual habits with porcupines in telephone booths. This was all spontaneous, and they were cracking up. One of them had a boyfriend, and the other was obviously very interested in me at this point. I didn't close the deal, not because I couldn't, but I simply didn't care to.

My main goal was to get this experience, and confidence, as well as bring out this jerky, but charming side of my personality. And, it works like magic. I urge you guys to work on this.

I hate to beat this post to death, but I've tried to figure out why my ex claimed to have no feelings for me. And, this is my only conclusion. I didn't have this attitude. I did everything else right by this board, but my AFC, nice-guy side kept showing. The only way to keep that from happening, for me; would have been to demonstrate this funny, jerky attitude all the time.

posted 03-13-2002 08:12 AM            

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" Women, can't live with them and can't live without them." - i would like to shake the guy's hand that thought that one up.. =P

posted 06-30-2002 03:41 AM            

her: as if any woman would want you anyway, your such a loser (said in a joking way)

I usually difuse that with

me: ooh nice! a solid comback for once! good job!

posted 07-01-2002 02:45 PM            

"You smile, your mouth opens but yet nothing comes out, what, are you mute?"

Hopefully she won't be....

posted 07-05-2002 03:38 PM            

*At work, after getting a call that a hot chick was having problems with a database application and needed me to come up and help her: "Hey, if you want to see me that bad, you can just come down to my office... you don't have to go around breaking computers."

*At a fireworks display the day before the Fourth of July... the song "Beauty and the Beast" came on from that Disney movie). I turned to the girl with me and said: "Here's a song about us. I hope you don't think I'm rude to call myself a Beauty though." (Made sure she knew I was joking so she wouldn't get offended there... that's skating a fine line).

------------------
CASANOVA

"A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done."
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)

"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."
Ben Stein

posted 11-22-2002 05:20 PM            

Teacher told us our midterm marks I got 68 and these two girls got 65 and 61.

After we told each other our marks, they got jealous and *****ed...etc.

girl 1: aren't you gonna brag?
me: no
girl 1: why?
me: cause i can do better
girl 1 and 2: *laughing*

posted 11-22-2002 07:03 PM            

I find the best mentality for being cocky and funny is to take what a women says and bring it out of the context that she initially implied it to be in.

Here's one that I made happen 5 minutes ago:

My Co-worker and I are planning on hooking up later tonight at a club night we throw.

We're leaving the office and she says's :

"Do you want to come home with me tonight?" (She set herself up bigtime but really mean... it's really cold outside. Do you want a ride home??)

I'll I had to say is "Maybe, we'll see who I meet at the club tonight" Cha Ching!

posted 11-24-2002 04:46 PM            

HEH

posted 11-25-2002 10:24 PM            

(When she initiate the touching)

"Stop touching me"

or

"Stop harassing me" --especially good with office flirt.

Be prepared to get huge astonished look and a good laught too!!

posted 11-29-2002 09:35 AM            

It's not cocky at all, but it's self-depricating. This is a good tool to use to disarm anyone... your boss, a guy, your paperboy, whoever. A girl will probably laugh at this one for that reason - it shoes you don't take yourself too seriously, and that is sexy to many of them.

Anyway, about 3 weeks ago I got a number from a cute Dominican girl, but I wasn't able to call her the whole time because I was busy. I'm talkin 'no-time-to-even-wipe-my-ass-after-a-****' busy. I guess you could say I woud be prime 'next-material' in the "Don Juana Bible" for being flaky, but it was a circumstance I coulnd't control.

So thinking on my feet, I would say this:

"Hey, this is Jake, remember me? I'm the guy you met at ______."

(If she says yes)

"Listen, I'm sorry for being out of touch, I've been very, very busy. But I'm available now... (suddenly changing tone of voice, like a salesman) ...but only for a limited time, at a low, low price of $12.99 an hour!"

I would say this in a tongue in cheek way. If she doesn't laugh, she's probably still pissed that I didn't call -- in which case, SHE becomes next material for being a humorless beeotch.

- Jake

posted 12-03-2002 12:18 AM            

I thought twice about letting this one out of the bag, but for you guys...what the hell.

You: Are you retarded?
Her: a. What!?
b. No!
c. Yes
You: Because your special to me!

This can definetly offend, trust me! But it is a sure fire way to give their humor a check-up.

I don't use this line for anything more than fun, but it is about 75% for me.

Now that its out, its sure to be played out fast. I thank the one who I heard it from, and take no credit for coming up with it.

Mr. Mystery

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"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky

The unexamined life is not worth living � Socrates

"Whats your favorite position? That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you" - Tenacious D - Fvck her gentley

"I'd rather hear no, than never know" - Mr. Mystery himself!

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it - D.H. Lawrence

posted 12-04-2002 05:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery:

You: Are you retarded?
Her: a. What!?
b. No!
c. Yes
You: Because your special to me!

---

wow!, that's pure genius, deffinitely something I'm gonna use, if you feel like de-elitizing some more of those sort of witty-cocky lines it'd be appreciated here .

*Just Say Maybe*