How to Get Women to Date You
Hey Joseph,
I was reading The Art of Approaching, under the online openers. And the one where you send an email saying how you're good looking, funny, etc., then modest, I used that on a girl and she responded very well to it.
But since then it's been very ho-hum. I can't get to meeting her. All I got is her AIM screenname. But I don't know how to take it to the next step. I know that I have to meet her if I want anything to happen, but I don't know how it should be done. I need your help.
- Stephen
Hi Stephen,
First of all -- of COURSE that email got a great response! That's one of my patented internet dating techniques.
(You know I'd never share something with you that DOESN'T work!)
But you seem to be running into a common problem that most guys who are dating on the internet eventually run into...
THE TRANSITION!
You know, the part where you move from online to offline.
In a way, it's really no different from setting up a date after meeting a woman in the real world.
See, when it comes to first contact, be it email, telephone, or a cold approach, you should always be thinking of one thing...
The Date!
Get her to agree to meet with you. Period.
Until that happens, it isn't real. She's either not serious or not interested until she commits to a date.
When it comes to email, the trick is to get her on the phone as soon as possible. You could say something like:
Hey, great. You're a real person. Now that we've established that, let's talk. This email thing is for the birds. You can call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. But try to call before 10, because that's when my mom makes me go to sleep. =)
If you're comfortable with it, you can give me your number and make me do all the dirty work.
Talk soon,
(your name here)
Once you get her on the phone and you're able to establish some rapport, then you can set up a date to meet.
Make it something low-pressure so she'll feel comfortable. Something like getting coffee or a drink. This will give you two a chance to get to know each other and see if it's worth going forward.
The same is true when meeting a girl in person.
Lots of guys like to try and go for the phone number right away.
But why?
I look at the phone number as a "last resort."
This is because you want to get her to go out with you AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
If she's up for it, take her out right then and there. Ask her if she's got time for a quick cup of coffee.
If not, try and set up a date right there. Ask her if she's free the next night or that very weekend.
Once the date is set up, then exchange your numbers.
Or, if she's not immediately available, THEN ask her for her number and try calling to set up the date.
Remember: Move fast and with purpose.
Until she goes out with you, she's not really committed to having a romantic encounter.
The WORST thing you can do is hesitate and draw out asking her to meet you again.
Lots of girls will begin to wonder if you're really interested if you don't ask her out. So don't wait. Seize the opportunity when you have the chance.
Best,
Joseph Matthews
