posted 03-13-2002 09:38 AM            

I ask this question of all you guys out there who ask advice about finding your �one true love�, or �the girl of your dreams�.

The typical scenario I see most every day here is :

�Guys, I need your help! I�m deeply in love with this girl, but she stands me up on at least half my dates. How can I make her fall in love with me?!�

Or�

�I�m dating with the most beautiful girl in the world, but she�s always comparing me to her ex-boyfriend and telling me I should be more like him.�

Or �

�My ex-girlfriend (who dumped me) wants to get back together with me. She dated a good friend of mine for about two months, but dumped him too. What should I do?�

Or one of my favorites (copied from an actual post)�

Hello All,
Lately I have been with a girl with very high interest level. We met 6 months ago and there after she calls me almost everyday until now !!! I liked her also..but not so much. Anyway we started dating..but I found out that she wants to control me ..she chooses her type of movies, her type of food with no consideration whether I like it or not.
So I told her that I want to break up. She agreed but she calls me everyday and asks me about my well being and concerns about my health..and stuff. I then met her again and officially broke up(second time) she cried..but things did not quiet down. She told me that she feels special and she wants to give her virginity to me. I met her recently and then tried to break up third time..then she FAINTED on the road and then I had to carry her to my apartment..which was nearby. Then after she got better we made love..her first time. So she became my girlfriend. BUT still she seems to be self-centerd and wants me to enjoy what she enjoys. The moment I want to do something..she has a long face and is very reluctant to do it. I am starting to hate her now...Guys please help me what to do.. I am confused.... !!!! She also told me that she has an adivsor friend that tell her what to do and how to get me..what the **** !!!

My friends, these poor saps have been victimized by what I like to call a �biscuit chick�. She�s hot, but flakey as hell. I asked myself, �Gipper, why do these guys put themselves through all this pain and suffering? It�s just a chick!� I think the answer lies in the following reasons�

1. She�s the most attractive girl the guy has dated (so far).

I�m sure a lot of you guys eventually stumble onto a really hot chick. She looks like some smokin� little model or actress-type and you are so intent on keeping her for yourself that you would toss away any self-respect you had.

Guys, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Clich�, I know, but it is truer than anything else you�ll read on this site.

I dated a girl who was a spitting image of Catherine Zeta-Jones Douglass (or whatever the hell her name is now). But guess what? She was a spoiled little rich girl looking to drain my bank account. When I called her on her leech-like practices, she threatened to stop seeing me. I immediately took her home, ceremoniously burned her telephone number and never answered any of her calls again. Case closed. Next!

I�m now dating a girl who is the spitting image of Peta Wilson (the Le Femme Nikita chick). (*Hmm. What is it with me and actresses?*) If she loses her mind and starts acting goofy, she�ll get the same treatment.

Hot chicks are usually high maintenance, but don�t accept any crap she throws your way. You are a DJ! You can always do better!

2. You lost your virginity to the girl (or you �deflowered� her).

You feel some kind of �obligation� because the two of you shared an intimate, personal moment together. Especially if you deflowered her, she will latch on to you and do anything: cry, fight, lie, just to keep you around. You have to detach yourself from the act. It�s over now; don�t let your emotions cloud the fact that she is treating you poorly.

3. You feel pressure to �have a girlfriend�.

I once knew a guy who was almost lost if he did not have a girlfriend handy. If he broke up with some girl, or (most often), got dumped, he would be in a white-hot panic to find a replacement. It was a disgusting display to watch; he was just looking for a warm body to walk around with. Please suppress any feelings like these that you may have. A girlfriend does not make you any more of a man, or even a DJ. Co-dependency is ugly.

4. The sex was incredible.

The girl just did things to your testicles that make you want to go buy a wedding ring for her. Well, guess what? She�s probably not the best at whatever she did to you.

This one is a killer, guys. Sex. Sex can make a guy do things that bamboo under the fingernails wouldn�t even begin to touch. Enough has been written about how a man was ruined by his pursuit of sex. Look at Bill Clinton. How much more successful could he have been if he had just kept it in his pants? Now that I think about it, he really shouldn�t have married an ice-queen like Hillary, but that�s another story. I mean, the chicks he picked out weren�t even good looking!

The �little head� often does the thinking for you, but don�t let it. What ever particular skill this chick has can be found elsewhere. Don�t get wrapped around her little finger just because she invented a new sexual position using her in-depth knowledge of yoga.

5. You�re �in love�.

Highly doubtful. You�re infatuated, at best. Most guys turn their whole world upside down for no more reason than a warm, fuzzy feeling in their gut.

There is no such thing as �The One� (with the exception of the Jet Li movie of the same name!). The world is filled with beautiful women who need some lovin�! All you have to do is get out of the house every now and then and go find them. Soulmate? Bullsh!t! She�s no more your soulmate, than I�m your Daddy! If you lose �The One�, just go out and replace her; it�s easier than you think.

So, to sum up: No matter how �special� you think your girl is, she can easily be replaced by another chick who is hotter, and can do just as many kinky things as your current chick. You cannot fall in love with her after a coffee date, and no matter what moments you�ve shared, allowing her flakey behavior to rule the relationship is NOT the way a DJ should act.

Gipper

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"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

posted 03-13-2002 11:37 AM            

What happened to the Semi-original Gipper series? I hope you keep posting those. Those are awesome.

Take Care buddy,

posted 03-13-2002 12:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gipper:
Sex can make a guy do things that bamboo under the fingernails wouldn�t even begin to touch.

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Having actually had the whole bamboo under the fingernails experience, I agree with you Gipper.

Great post!

posted 03-13-2002 12:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Don the Legend:
Great post Gipper!

What happened to the Semi-original Gipper series? I hope you keep posting those. Those are awesome.

Take Care buddy,

Legend

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Hola Don the Legend!

The Semi-Original Series is still ongoing, but this one was a little too long and involved for that.

The S-O Series consists of short and to-the-point tips. Small and easily digestible, if that makes any sense.

Thanks for the kudos!

Gipper

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"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

posted 03-13-2002 01:05 PM            

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CASANOVA

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer

"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
Voltaire

"Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

posted 12-03-2002 11:04 PM            

Also, there is NOTHING you can do to make any girl like you more or fall in love with you, either she really digs you or she doesn't, and you have to accept it & move on or continue to torture yourself. We all see the light, sooner or later.

Ya know, I NEVER imagined how complex this game was and the effort needed to do well in it. But ultimately, the best attitude is "I don't give a sh*t!"