posted 02-23-2002 02:35 AM            

So, the question arises - how do you actually come across as cocky and funny?

The first most important thing is, do not try to get her panties wet - instead, just decide that you're going to have as much fun RIGHT NOW as you can while you're with the gal - forget the scheming and plotting. Just play with her words, rag on her, bust her on her choice of words, liberal doses of sarcasm and humor so that she's laughing and still a bit nervous (in a GOOD way) about how you'll tease her next.

Now that you know what frame of mind to approach in, you need some examples. The idea here is to show that you're VERY confident with yourself, are going to make fun of her every chance you get (not annoy - TEASE) and you you're think you're the best thing in the world - but, you're also going to be funny so that she laughs and doesn't get turned off.

Lets go over some examples:

A favourite of mine from Take No Dirt:

You: Tonight is your lucky night
Her: Oh really? Why is that?
You: Because you finally got to go out with me
Her: Sure! <if you said it right, she's going to be smiling by now!>
You: But no touching - *I* do all the touching!

This one is field tested - it works magic! Gets her laughing, she might even punch you for it playfully which means she's started the KINO. Thats your cue to take up the KINO one more notch...

Another example would be while setting up a date:

Me: Lets go out for coffee and some stimulating conversation... that way if I dont like you at all, I can claim I need to floss my dog's teeth <or some other obvious bullshyt> and leave!

You can only say these after you have some sort of rapport going though, otherwise it wont have the intended humorous effect and you'll piss her off - which is NOT what you want! The idea is to make her laugh, while being arrogant!

The point is, don't waste time to start being cocky and funny - if you don't, you come across as boring and get LJBFed. So you say one or two things (positive ones) to warm her up, and before things start stagnating, you start the cocky+funny angle to set the right tone.

One more example I got from the doubleyourdating mailbag was this one:

Guy sees chick sitting with two of her friends checking him out. Now we all know that approaching a chick when she's with her c*ckblocking friends is tough... so what does he do?

He walks over to her, she gets the "What the hell is he doing?" look on her face as he's approaching and then he joins the three girls at their table, and says to the girl "Hi there, I know I'm pretty and that you are attracted to me, but could you maybe hide your impulses?". Of course this was said in a funny way, with a cocky look. Her friends started laughing and said, "she was that obvious , huh?"

Needless to say it was smooth sailing for him from this point on.

Just make sure the delivery is light, fun and casual - put her on the spot while making her laugh and she won't be able to resist you! Remember, you're not there to piss her off... you're there to make her laugh, and if you get her laughing at herself... heh, you're home baby.

What about you guys? Pitch in with some ideas and examples on cocky+funny... it helps everyone's game tremendously!

posted 02-23-2002 04:41 AM            

A lot of his stuff strikes me as dorky and stupid (I'm not looking for sub-120 IQ chicks),
but *that* one *is* funny!

Gotta use it before it becomes *too* *common*.

Can't think of any specific examples, though.

I find that humor's usually *situational*, and I either pick up on it or don't. Not something that can be called up at will.

------------------------

posted 02-23-2002 05:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Bonhomme:

Can't think of any specific examples, though.

I find that humor's usually *situational*, and I either pick up on it or don't. Not something that can be called up at will.

---

True, delivering canned lines wont cut it with the smart ones, but at the same time - the idea behind this post is to illustrate the mindset you want to have so you can come up with them as the situation/opportunity arises. Not neccesarily these, but something to this effect. You have to tailor it to suit the mood and the woman you're macking with.

posted 02-23-2002 08:52 PM            

"Can I sit here" *yes* "Wait, are you SURE you wont get too horny if I sit next to you??"

posted 02-25-2002 01:58 PM            

I'm talking with two friends (guy and girl) and a girl approaches us. She knows them, but we're not acquainted. The girl proceeds to greet my two friends, cheek-kiss. The b!tch was ignoring me.
Me: Wha? Don't I get a kiss too?
She: (puzzled look) I don't know you.
Me: I'm Jo�o. Problem solved. My kiss?
She: (kisses)

Not too smooth, but did the work. Didn't follow up because 1) She wasn't that pretty 2) I was in "let's practice DJing" mode.

posted 02-25-2002 02:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sun-Tan Superman:
Try this if you see a open seat next to a girl

"Can I sit here" *yes* "Wait, are you SURE you wont get too horny if I sit next to you??"

Or for a different situation
"How does it feel to be out with a handsome bloke like me??"

---

posted 02-25-2002 03:24 PM            

its a great idea everyone post cocky-funny examples

When a girl ask:
- Do you have a pen?(or any object)
I usally bust on them and say:
- To you no!(with a smile)

If l girl say:
- Hey l like you
Just answer
- I like me too

If you know how to be cocky-funny you will problably start saying "Are you tring to pick-up on me?" "You really like me", the problem is when the girl say this kind of thing to you, how do you handle this?
I learned l very good line:
Girl: I know you like me
Me: Well, if a girl like YOU became very happy with the possibility of a guy like ME, MAYBE be interestet on you, if you are happy with that, ok stick with that, but l only like you as a friend.

If a girl call you just say:
- I knew you will call

And if she say:
- When we gonna get out again?
Just say
- I knew it, you just cant get away from me.

If you emailing a girl is good to say the "stimulating conversation thing" then add
"And you can get to know me better, l know it is everything you want"

Keep posting guys

posted 02-25-2002 03:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ESPN:
Hey nice post,

its a great idea everyone post cocky-funny examples
My ideas:
When a girl ask:
- Do you have a pen?
I usally bust on them and say:
- To you no!(with a smile)

---

Her: Do you have a pen?
Me: Yeah, and I'll let you use it to write your number down for me.

------------------
CASANOVA

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer

"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
Voltaire

posted 02-25-2002 03:50 PM            

I gotta say that your posts keep getting better and better as I am sure so is you DJing. Thanks for posting this. I will have to use this in my DJ arsenal.

Take Care,

Legend

------------------
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

posted 02-25-2002 03:55 PM            

Where I hang out, there is a DJ chick, always dressed up like she is easy (short short skirt, legs, bressusses being show off, etc.)
I have always ignored her (talking but not looking). It seems, she found me, and now she comes up and starts talking.
I am using her as social proof, and also a testing ground.
She comes over near me and we are talking... buddy comes up, and ignores her. She flips out, and tells him she is annoyed he didnt greet her (In my culture we greet the other person).. In my culture, we dont, he said.
..... she comlains about rude guys and I keep pushing her, asking her why, why she thinks this way, etc, etc.
She is off in tangents like I have never seen, and had to actually pay attention what the current 10 second topic was.
Then she says, I always thought you where not like the rest of the guys. I said I am not. Do I even hang on you, fawn all over you, stand by you the whole night and wait for a treat that never comes, constantly call you...and look at you up and down like a piece of meat?! Or, do you come over and talk to me? I said.
she gets this pounting look, and then says I am to pushy..

I said:
I do what i want
say what I want
and get what i want.
just like you, in a way. And then I drink my beer.
Is there sth wrong with that?

she is at a loss of words. Evid. she has never had I guy say this to her before.
She goes to say sth, then stops, then again, then stops.
Some buds come over and I say its time to leave. She wants to come, I said we have to discuss if she can come. One dude knew what I was doing, the other said of course she can, and with me(him)! Duh!
I said we men here have to discuss this matter, between us, and we will get back to her on the matter. If she behaves herself, and doesnt get in out way with other women, then she can. I said. One bud goes Yea! the other had no idea.
We go to a new place, and the one dude is smothering her. I am out talking chicks, dancing with them, kinoing them, etc. At the end of the night, I decide to leave. I say by to one bud, then the AFC and then her. I give her my hand, she doesnt give me hers (she was flirting, but not smailing). I said, you can give me your hand to say bye, and I will talk to you the next time we see each other, OR, you dont have to, and then you shouldnt even consider coming over to me again. she slowly gives me her hand.

posted 02-25-2002 04:28 PM            

You: do you like ice-cream
Her: yea....
You: on what part of your body??

Here are a whole bunch off a website, i have found *tryin them myself* that they will work 7.5-8 times out of 10 on girls... there are the odd insecure ones that have had bad experiances maby with guys or maby more serious *rape....harassment....ect* so they're will always be rejections
But if u keep in mind the other 7-8 girls u get to know using these lines, you have already set the stage of what kind of guy you are and what you want that should be interesting

"If you buy me a drink, you might get lucky tonight"
"I can't please every girl but I'll give you a chance tonight"
"Women are lining up to be with me"
"It's tough to be such a sex symbol"
"Aren't you going to get too horny if I sit next to you?"
"I'm organising an orgy for my friend's birthday. Wanna come?"
"I like you because you're intelligent (gesture over her breasts). I like myself because I'm intelligent too (gesture over your ****)." (once GM even later got a phone-call where the girl said she wanted to show him her intelligence
"If you're nice enough I will lick you."
"How does it feel like to be with (one/two) handsome blokes?"
"My friend's jealous because mine is bigger."
"Look, we have to go (to her place) now because I have a date in 2 hours. No we can't go to my place because I have a friend sleeping there."
"I love myself sooo much I can't leave myself alone."
"I wish I could split myself in 5 ("me"s) so that I could please all the women."
"I have to go to the hospital tomorrow" - "What for?" - "To get an operation, (pointing down) mine's too big"
"Do you know how I can have a 24 cm /11 inch ****?" "???" "When I fold it in half"
"Are you hands clean?" - "Yeah" - "Ok, could you hold my **** for me while I'm peeing?"

"You know, that really bothers me, all those girls and guys going after me, and they're only interested because of it, you know, I want to be appreciated for who I am, not for just my HUGE penis."
"I should'nt talk about that, I don't want you to be incredibly turned on... I don't want you to make a mental picture of a huuuuuuuuuuuuge throoobing tasty penis." (Nathan: "Her eyes were glowing -- you could tell what she had in mind!")
"It's not possible to be cute without being >picked up ... sometimes I wish I wasn't so cute" (Nathan: "One of the most important aspects of the GM technique is REVERSING ROLES")
Me: "Do you wake up early in the morning?". Her: "No, not really". Me: "Good, I don't like to be waken up ".

Whenever they don't react positively enough, you say:

"Hide your joy / pleasure!!"
"Last time I saw someone as excited as you, she was in a coma!"
"If you don't like cute guys, just tell me!" (Most of the time the reply will be "no, no, we do like cute guys!". This question reframes their possible dislike of you into a dislike of "cute guys" in general, which however they want to deny, thus being forced to confess, that they actually do like you. Tricky eh?

posted 02-26-2002 12:45 PM            

If you kissing a girl, and you want to give a break to breath, but dont want to make it appear weird just stop and say:
- Dont you get tired?
She will say something, interrupt her and say
- Ok, l get it, you never get tired of me
Them go ahead
If you want to stop completly just say
- Ok give me a break, l want my tonge intact for eating.
or
- Do you want a piece of my tonge?

Cmon guys, lets everyone share our cocky-funny goldies.

posted 02-26-2002 02:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sun-Tan Superman:
Try this if you see a open seat next to a girl

"Can I sit here" *yes* "Wait, are you SURE you wont get too horny if I sit next to you??"

Or for a different situation
"How does it feel to be out with a handsome bloke like me??"

---

These sound too strong to me. Horny is a word that carries negative connotations for most women. Something like this might work better: "Are you SURE you can keep your hands to yourself?"

If that gets a great reaction, then follow up with "Good, cause I am a good Christian boy, and don't do that with girls I have just met, you know"
Even if you aren't Christian, that would make the line even funnier.

posted 02-26-2002 10:24 PM            

"I know u got the hots for me but you can't follow me around!"

posted 02-27-2002 10:13 AM            

If you are in a mall and you approach a girl and she says:
- Why did you approach me?
- I dont know, you seem to look like a normal girl and if you be nice to me, maybe l let you buy something to me in the Donalds, but you must be nice.

posted 02-27-2002 02:19 PM            

Here, it is normal to s�t at a table or sth with strangers.

What i do, sometimes, is walk up and ask if i can sit/stand here. (Mind you, I speak fleunt german, but I have a "strange" accent i.e. I am different).

They never say no, and then I say... but only if you behave yourself.

They usually turn a little red, and laugh. But, they know that i am not from here. That makes them curious and that little behave yourself line allows them to start asking questions. man, they think, this guy is def. different from the others.
A "normal" German would never, never say ANYTHING like that. he has to be proper and follow the proper rules (laws) of engaging in conversation.

This has opened alot of interesting situations. Sometimes, the chick ignores the line, but later I find that see "understood" the humor and starts following me around waiting for me to say sth again. Sorry, you missed the shot baby.... It just makes them more and more determined to "make" me say sth they end up coming up and starting the convo.

Either way, it is fun to see how they react.

posted 02-27-2002 02:35 PM            

Only thing better than a DJ at work is a few dozen DJs at work!

Giovanni, come on dude - you're one of the wittiest writers I've seen posts from - let loose!

posted 02-27-2002 04:00 PM            

then say it was nice to meet her, leave
turn around and ask for her e-mail..
take out a paper and pen and as she writes her e-mail.. tell her to write down her phone number..
(this works like a charm)
then say you are just gonna call her 9 times a day.. (she will laugh). and go
get the digits and move on
call her 3 days later and ask her out>>

posted 02-27-2002 04:46 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by indy:
Giovanni, come on dude - you're one of the wittiest writers I've seen posts from - let loose!

---

Oh, man, you know I can't refuse when someone flatters me like this. Son of a b*tch.

I'm going to have to post on this later, when I have more time to think of witty things.

------------------
CASANOVA

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer

"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
Voltaire

posted 02-27-2002 11:16 PM            

rejected by girl in class; how should I have responded?

------------------
CASANOVA

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer

"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
Voltaire

posted 02-28-2002 03:33 AM            

Its good to have a little funny cockiness to break the ice (which is what I was looking for in this post) and set the mood, after that you rip on everything she says.

So I've got this thing going with an older woman. Anyway, I call her up and she drops my cell call. I figured if she was in the middle of something, she'd call me back, and if she was being a bytch, she could go to hell. So I don't call her back. Naturally, two days later she calls me and is all appolegetic.

She: Hi!
Me: Hey, whats up?
She: I'm really sorry I couldn't take your call then... my phone battery was almost out and when you called it ran out.
Me: (Whee, original, what sort of ass does she take me for?) Wow! You got one of those DEFCON phones that when it dies it takes out the phone system in a one mile radius along with it?
She: Hehehe, no no, really!
Me: You should ask someone who knows something about phones to help you buy a decent one because you are pretty clueless...
She: <giggle>...

I dont even remember it all... anyway, I ragged her a lot on it. She kept saying one thing after another, and I kept turning it around and poking her with it.

I feel it happens most naturally when you really dont give a shyt about what she thinks - when you're in the DJ mindset.

posted 02-28-2002 05:30 AM            

------------------
Win with class, lose with dignity. But don't lose often.

posted 03-11-2002 11:10 PM            

They got their IDs out. Then I said

"Hey! You don't look old enough to get in here. Let me see that!"

And, one girl, playing along, gave me her ID.

I said, "I think this is fake. Let me see yours." (to her friend)

Her friend wanted to play along, but was so nervous, she dropped her ID. on her picture on her ID, she was a blonde. But, she stood there with dark hair.

I said, "HEY! You're blonde, but not blonde. This is definitely fake!"

Everyone around us in line was cracking up. The girls were even having fun with it. Then, I started to act like one of the bouncers. Everyone was getting in on the act. Inside, the 2 girls were both after me. But, having a good DJ night, my interests lie elsewhere. This one thing, however, set the stage for my whole successful evening.

Some of this might have seemed a little too mean, or too much. But, you have to go with it, and not be afraid of offending, sometimes. What may seem a little offensive can come off as playful and funny, if you do it right.

This cocky/funny attitude is a big part of jerk behaviour that women go for. Though some deny it, it definitely stirs something inside of women. It's something I need to work on, but I know I'll get really good at it. I'm usually quick-witted. I think anyone can be.

Just practice it. Remember to have fun. I'll post more cocky/funny ideas in the future. I think we should keep this post going. This is a very important aspect in having the right attitude with women. It also does a lot to prevent you from being too nice, or needy.

When you're cocky/funny, and not afraid of offending her, or making her mad, TWO things happen.

1) You start right off with the right attitude. You don't need her. If she gets mad and leaves, so what. You'll find another who is more fun and playful.

2) She sees you as different. "What's with this guy?" She'll be thinking. Even if she gets a little mad, she'll realize you're just teasing. Either way, it'll arouse feelings in her. Feelings that you're different, not afraid of her, interesting, and don't need her or her approval.