posted 01-20-2002 05:25 PM            

If you're one of those guys that can get any girl on Earth in thirty seconds or less, you're my hero. But you don't need to read this.

Okay, now that those guys are gone, I'm gonna tell you a few things from my years of experience in the restaurant business. I can't tell you what will ultimately win her over, but I can tell you some things you should avoid doing if you ever want to get under her skirt.

A few things you should understand: A good waitress can make hundreds of dollars in a few hours, in part because of men's egos. We just have to believe that if a woman is nice to us, she must be attracted to us. So a man will sit around, sometimes for hours, trying to talk to a busy waitress, just because she smiled at him a few times. And he'll just look more and more pathetic. Then when he finally realizes she's not going home with him, he leaves, and he puts a ridiculously huge tip on the table, apparently thinking she will be so impressed that she will like him even more the next time he comes in. Well, it better be a very very big tip, because there are a lot of guys doing this, especially if she's really hot. And to be honest, the bigger the tip, the more pathetic you look. It just makes you look desperate, and we all know that women just love the stink of desperation, right? But she'll remember you, and she'll continue to cash in on it. Here's what you get: a pretty smile, and a burger and fries for $30.

Us guys in the restaurant business that know a little something about the psychology of waitresses, we're laughing at you. You're a bunch of chumps. You come in and ask for a specific waitress, sit down and try to disable her with your smile, try a few painfully stupid lines on her, check out her ass in those tight pants every time she walks by, she knows it and flirts with you, shows you her cleavage, you try to pick her up, she politely rejects you, gives you the bill and never goes back to your table, you leave your life savings on the table for her and leave, she goes back to the table and puts the bling bling in her pocket, and another guy just as brilliant as you walks in the door, and it all starts over again. Whew!

A couple weeks ago, after I watched a waitress cash in on some chump, I said to her, "Us guys are about the frickin' stupidest people in the universe, aren't we?"

"You got that right," she said.

HOW TO NOT BE ONE OF THE FRICKIN' STUPIDEST PEOPLE IN THE UNIVERSE

Do what I say here and you could have sex with a waitress. I know, because I have sex with them. I've been working at my current restaurant for about six months, and I've banged six of them. Now I'm just waiting for them to hire more, because all that's left are the ugly ones.

Best times to come in.
Don't come in while it's busy. She won't have time for you, the service will not be that great, and you'll just add to her frustration.

In general, these are the slow times: After the noon rush, but before the dinner hour, then again after the dinner hour. If it's a 24-hour establishment, don't bother her after bar closing. She's dealing with the obnoxious drunks. Oh yeah, and don't be drunk. She's probably not, and it won't turn her on.

Come in one to three times a week, four at most. You want to look as if you have a life. Come alone sometimes, but occasionally bring a male or female friend, but not some scruffy slob. Appear classy. Behave classy. Be pleasant and nonthreatening. Make good eye contact, but don't gawk at her, make light humor. Talk and act in such a way that she thinks you like her, but don't need her. Leave before you get annoying.

Make yourself stand out.
Look at it this way. One hot girl in a room full of men stands out. One hot girl in a room full of hot girls doesn't. Sure, you're a decent-looking guy, but she sees a hundred of those every day.

Be a semi-regular customer, not a stalker. Learn the difference.

Be occupied. When dining alone, read a stimulating book or magazine while you wait. Or use a laptop, but only to do business-type stuff, or check email. Don't cruise porn sites or play solitaire. And don't pull out your preppy little cell phone. Damn, those things suck. They're annoying. I actually think you'll score more points with her if she thinks you don't own one.

Order the same thing a lot, but not all the time. She'll feel a closeness to you if she can smile and say, "Let me guess-- coffee, black...T-Bone steak, medium rare, fries and corn, right?" She's getting to know you. But don't be too predictable. Keep her guessing by ordering something different occasionally.

Don't go in there at the end of her shift, when she's tired. The exception is if it's not busy, and you can be very charming. Then she can go home with a nice memory of you. But at the end of a waitress's shift, she is trying to get her sidework done, and she's not trying to have customers because she can't leave until her work is done. And if you linger there forever, she can't clock out until you pay your bill. So she might be done with all her work, and is just hanging around, thinking, "Come on, a$$hole, pay your bill and get out of here so I can go home."

Make her job as easy as possible. Almost.
Have her do something extra for you, but not multiple times. Get a refill on your Coke, but when she brings it back, don't say, can I get some Tobasco sauce too? Then when she brings that back, and you say, "Oh could I also get more sugar?" now she's getting mad. Think of everything at once, so she only has to make one trip. If you're friendly and low-maintenance, during slow time, and it's not towards the end of her shift, she will enjoy doing a little extra for you. Especially if she thinks you're cute. But sometimes, don't be demanding at all.

Don't be a pain in the ass.
Don't ask how much stuff costs. You just seem cheap, and it's right there in the menu anyway, you moron. Don't ask for stuff to be made special. A few days ago, this redneck asked me for an omelet with sausage links, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, green peppers, ham, bacon, mushrooms, chicken, and hamburger. I told him we don't have anything like that, but he wanted it. He wanted me to tell the cook to fry up a hamburger, chop it up, and put it in the omelet. I had to get the manager to explain to Jethro that he should order food that is on the menu. That's why we have a menu. So don't do that to a waitress you're trying to get with. If she says, "I'm sorry, I don't think the cook will make it that way," you've pissed her off. If you ask her to check with the cook, now you've really pissed her off. And know what you want when she gets to your table. Don't take forever to order. She's got other customers.

If the manager asks you how everything was, smile and say the food was great and the service was great, even if it wasn't and it wasn't. Nobody wants to hear you b!tch.

Don't throw her out of sequence. If she asks you what you want to drink as soon as you sit down, there's a reason for that. Waitresses have a routine, and if you say you want the drink with the meal, or you're not ready to decide that yet, she'll say okay, no problem. She's lying. It's a problem. Then, when you get your food and she still forgot to bring your drink, don't complain. You're the one who threw her off her routine.

Keep this kind of sh!t up, and all the waitresses will avoid you. They'll say, "Here he comes again. I took him last time, today it's your turn. Please Betty Lou, you take this idiot's table, and I'll work for you Saturday night." Don't be that guy. Make them fight over whose turn it is to serve you, not avoid you.

Leaving a tip.
You don't want her to like you because you're a good tipper, you want her to like you because you're a fair tipper. Give her what she's earned. But don't be mean. If she's a little ditzy and screws up a lot, but you can tell she's trying, cut her some slack. She'll love you for it. For you cheap guys, you may not like it, but if you leave less than three dollars, she's gonna think you're a cheapo. "Well, what if I just ordered coffee?" Don't. Order some damn food. If you're just a java guy, she's not gonna like you, because she'll know you're going to be leaving a puny tip. And pay in dollar bills. Don't leave her your loose change, some lint, and a crumpled Juicy Fruit wrapper.

Sit in the nonsmoking section.
If you know she smokes, it might be alright for you to smoke, but honestly, I think it's best to refrain. I don't want to sound insulting, I used to smoke myself, but the fact is that the rough, unrestrained, loud, obnoxious people sit in smoking. You look classier in the nonsmoking section, kind of like sitting in first class as opposed to coach on an airplane. But it's your call. I remember how it felt to really want a cigarette, especially after a meal.

When you come in, don't ask specifically for her to be your waitress. Ask occasionally, but she may be too busy to help you every time. If she is really starting to like you, you'll know it, because she'll make sure you always get seated in her section.

Why is it important to know these things? If you know what works and what doesn't, you increase your odds of winning. Too many guys think they're getting somewhere with a waitress just because she flirts with them. Listen: She makes less than minimum wage in many cases. She needs your money. She learns to perfect her technique at getting that cash. When I'm working with a waitress and two guys sit at my table, and two women sit at hers, we switch, because she's better at getting a good tip from guys and I'm better with women. We learn to use our appeal, and people leave us good tips when they think we're attracted to them too.

posted 01-20-2002 05:44 PM            

------------------
CASANOVA

"Always love thy enemies, just in case all your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards."

"Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers."
Leigh Hunt

posted 01-20-2002 08:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by trickynick:
It's good to see a largely undiscussed topic addressed. One question though, at what point should you attempt to ask her out and is there special way you think it should be handled.

---

Well, I don't want to seem like I'm copping out here, but I think that's something best left up to the guy that is there, staking out the joint, assessing the situation with the waitress.

My reason for writing this was because I got to thinking about how sad it is to watch these clueless guys come in and act like such saps. The waitresses are so good at playing them, and I wanted to alert a few guys about what they're doing wrong, how they can gain a little respect from these chicks and get an advantage.

The dos and don'ts that I offered are just things that I know from experience servers like or don't like. But whether a girl is interested in you to the point she will go out with you, it's hard for me to say when that's gonna happen, if ever.

As far as how to handle it, I'd say don't ask her out when she's busy. Sometimes, when a waitress gets to know someone, and it's not very busy, she'll sit right down with you and talk. If she enjoys your company that much, just look for the signs of attraction, pick your moment, and let it fly. If you get shot down, I'd act like it didn't faze me much, remain friendly, and keep going to the restaurant as if nothing was different (assuming you like eating there). Seeing that you didn't care that much, she may eventually reconsider. Depends on if you think she's worth the bother.

posted 01-24-2002 08:30 AM            

Outstanding

posted 01-24-2002 10:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by galactus:
A few days ago, this redneck asked me for an omelet with sausage links, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, green peppers, ham, bacon, mushrooms, chicken, and hamburger. I told him we don't have anything like that, but he wanted it. He wanted me to tell the cook to fry up a hamburger, chop it up, and put it in the omelet. I had to get the manager to explain to Jethro that he should order food that is on the menu. That's why we have a menu. So don't do that to a waitress you're trying to get with. If she says, "I'm sorry, I don't think the cook will make it that way," you've pissed her off. If you ask her to check with the cook, now you've really pissed her off.

---

posted 01-24-2002 10:45 AM            

I would suggest making your move as soon as possible. You don't want this waitress to dictate where and when you are eating......

------------------
DJ de Florida
****
Just Do It!

1) Progress always involves risk: you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.

2) Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.

posted 01-24-2002 03:14 PM            

Of course, I've read many books, numerous self-help books among them, and from time to time I may mention things that I learned from them without being aware of it. Yesterday when I was writing something here, I realized that I had applied a principle I learned from Anthony Robbins. I did the right thing and credited Robbins. If I fail to credit source material, it's only because I forgot where I learned it from. I wouldn't intentionally steal anything.

Everything I wrote about picking up waitresses, it's all me. My observations, my opinions, my sarcasm.

DJ de Florida: I agree 100%. Don't put any chick on a pedestal. That's kinda what I meant when I said learn the difference between being a semi-regular customer and a stalker. Plenty of other women in the world.

Powertrip: I know a waitress that is going out with a guy she waited on about a month ago. I myself picked up a waitress at another restaurant about a year ago. It wasn't worth it. She was sorely lacking in feminine hygeine, and...but that's another story. But you're right, it is extremely rare, and I think it's for the reasons I've stated. Waitresses seem to have a certain mystique for a lot of guys, and I think it's because they seem easily attainable because they're friendly. The AFCs just don't see that friendliness for what it really is: trying to get paid.

posted 01-24-2002 04:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by galactus:
Paradox: I am a waiter. The incident with the redneck and the omelet happened to me. Nothing in that post was taken from anybody else's experience. I don't claim to be the absolute authority on anything, but everybody that visits this site has my word of honor (the best thing I can offer) that unless otherwise noted, I'm relating advice from my own experience.

---

Thanks for clearing that up.

posted 01-24-2002 05:27 PM            

********************************************

I'm gonna make this long story as short as possible.
Check it out right, I started this new job about 3 weeks ago, I met this 17 year old Columbian chick whose about 5'9" and just sexy as hell (I'm 19 by the way). She was new also, she was by far the finest girl at my job, anyway.

I'm cool with all the ladies except her. When I met her she acted all cold and didn't open up that much to me. She's conceited. Anyway, I just want to bang the hell out of this girl.

So anyways I try to get to know her, she still acts all cold, like she's just the $hit, shes cool every now and then but she has this attitude like she's better than every1. So I say Fukk it and just ignore her and go about my business, the other people at my job like me but I don't like them in that way. I come to work the next week and were cool to start off the day, then some $hit happens that just pisses me off. My manager comes in and tells us that 1 of us should set up something, so I ask her if she has it, she says no, go ahead and do it, so I say ok, Ill do it, all of a sudden she says, you know what, you're annoying. So I was really pissed but I didn't show it, I just said fukk it and I just messed with all the other ladies at my job except her, I didn't even look at her, except when her back was turned, she has this nice ass...but anywayz, she must feel left out b/c she starts acting different towards me, she even said bye to me when she left.

fast forward to this past weekend. I show up to work and shes sitting down, i walk past her and look at her, she kind of gives me this half smile, anyway during work, it's me, her, and this other girl working there and that girl is always trying to mess with me and talk to me, she sees all this and she just acts all nice to me, she even laughs at what I say even if it ain't funny and she makes all these flirty ass faces towards me. She even helps me out with my work and when we were alone I was talking to her and we had some good conversation about stuff, not boring conversation but some good ****.

This sexy a$$ chick just pulled a 180 on me and is acting totally different, she acts as if were some kind of couple now, what's up with that. I don't have any problems with that b/c work is more fun now, but It's just too good to be true the way shes acting.

I'm thinking she's acting like this b/c she must have felt left out b/c a couple of other girls at my job like me and stuff and I'm real cool with the other ladies, but what's going on. I also talk different to her from the first time I met her, I'm not boring with the convo. I'm gonna really try to lay it on thick this weekend when I work with her and lay some groundwork so that I can bang this chick b/c she's a changed woman from the first time I met her 3 weeks ago.

This is where I need ya'lls help, I kind of have an idea of what to do but I need you guys input when I work with her this Saturday, what else can I do to really get in there for sure so I can bang, cuz I have an idea that she's a freak you know, even though she might have a man, that's how these high school chicks are...Thanks.

From what I've heard and from talking to her she has a boyfriend but she's in High School so it may not be serious and she also likes going clubbing and going to parties a lot. She's only 17 and already has hookups to get into clubs, so this girl sounds like a freak to me but I'll try to lay some kino on her but do any of you know a real good way to do it. I know how to do it but do you guys know a good transition into kino at work, and not just that gay tapping on the shoulder or poking at her stomach bull$hit, some serious $hit.

********************************************

posted 01-28-2002 04:52 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StuartScott:

[b] Hey Galactus, do you work at IHOP or some $hit, b/c I work at IHOP as a waiter and I'm trying to bang my coworker waitress. I'll paste my story below.

********************************************

I'm gonna make this long story as short as possible.
Check it out right, I started this new job about 3 weeks ago, I met this 17 year old Columbian chick whose about 5'9" and just sexy as hell (I'm 19 by the way). She was new also, she was by far the finest girl at my job, anyway.

I'm cool with all the ladies except her. When I met her she acted all cold and didn't open up that much to me. She's conceited. Anyway, I just want to bang the hell out of this girl.

So anyways I try to get to know her, she still acts all cold, like she's just the $hit, shes cool every now and then but she has this attitude like she's better than every1. So I say Fukk it and just ignore her and go about my business, the other people at my job like me but I don't like them in that way. I come to work the next week and were cool to start off the day, then some $hit happens that just pisses me off. My manager comes in and tells us that 1 of us should set up something, so I ask her if she has it, she says no, go ahead and do it, so I say ok, Ill do it, all of a sudden she says, you know what, you're annoying. So I was really pissed but I didn't show it, I just said fukk it and I just messed with all the other ladies at my job except her, I didn't even look at her, except when her back was turned, she has this nice ass...but anywayz, she must feel left out b/c she starts acting different towards me, she even said bye to me when she left.

fast forward to this past weekend. I show up to work and shes sitting down, i walk past her and look at her, she kind of gives me this half smile, anyway during work, it's me, her, and this other girl working there and that girl is always trying to mess with me and talk to me, she sees all this and she just acts all nice to me, she even laughs at what I say even if it ain't funny and she makes all these flirty ass faces towards me. She even helps me out with my work and when we were alone I was talking to her and we had some good conversation about stuff, not boring conversation but some good ****.

This sexy a$$ chick just pulled a 180 on me and is acting totally different, she acts as if were some kind of couple now, what's up with that. I don't have any problems with that b/c work is more fun now, but It's just too good to be true the way shes acting.

I'm thinking she's acting like this b/c she must have felt left out b/c a couple of other girls at my job like me and stuff and I'm real cool with the other ladies, but what's going on. I also talk different to her from the first time I met her, I'm not boring with the convo. I'm gonna really try to lay it on thick this weekend when I work with her and lay some groundwork so that I can bang this chick b/c she's a changed woman from the first time I met her 3 weeks ago.

This is where I need ya'lls help, I kind of have an idea of what to do but I need you guys input when I work with her this Saturday, what else can I do to really get in there for sure so I can bang, cuz I have an idea that she's a freak you know, even though she might have a man, that's how these high school chicks are...Thanks.

From what I've heard and from talking to her she has a boyfriend but she's in High School so it may not be serious and she also likes going clubbing and going to parties a lot. She's only 17 and already has hookups to get into clubs, so this girl sounds like a freak to me but I'll try to lay some kino on her but do any of you know a real good way to do it. I know how to do it but do you guys know a good transition into kino at work, and not just that gay tapping on the shoulder or poking at her stomach bull$hit, some serious $hit.

********************************************

can you help me out, thanks [/B]

---

Never mind, she got fired, heres the story.

Well guys, the b*tch got fired on Sunday. The good news is that I work on Wednesday and that's the day when the checks are handed out so I'll most likely see her on Wednesday and I got something for her.
We worked together on Saturday, she was cool and all, we talked a lot. She said she was going to this party that lasted until 5 A.M., I said I was going to this club but then I found out that I didn't have my drivers license so I wasn't going to the club. I asked her if she drinks, she said yes and all, then I asked her if she ever got high, she said no, then she asked me and I said yes. (I was gonna try to get her high for the first time) I asked her if she ever thought of it, she said yes, that she has thought of doing it, but then my bi^ch of a manager starts hatin' on me and tells us to stop standing around and find something to do, the place was dead (the restaurant, I'm a waiter) and basically everything was done so anywayz, we do some work and she starts talking to me so I listen and my manager sees me agains and she writes me up.

So anywayz, I know she digs me by me noticing small things like, when we were talking and the phone rung, I was gonna get it and she was like NO DONT GET IT, THE MANAGER HAS IT (all enthusiastic and $hit) and other $hit so anywayz, it got real busy at night and I couldn't really talk to her but as I was leaving I just said see you tomorrow and she smiled so Sunday rolls around and I get in at 4, I don't see her so as I'm working (bored as hell, cuz I'm the only one there until 6 (everyone else is fired)) I talk to one of my new coworkers and I say "this job really has bad turnover" the girl says, yeah, I know, 3 people got fired today, so I'm like okay, that must explain it.

So I go to my manager and say "People get fired from here daily huh", she was like, yeah, I fired like 3 today and then she said their names and she said she fired Jeanne (thats her name)I was like for what, she said, well, she called in 2 hours before she had to work and said she was sick, the rules are you have to call in 4 hours before your shift so I told her to show up or don't come back (this manager is a bit$h, shes the one that was hatin' on my game. I got a good tip from one of my other managers (whose cool)that she doesn't like me b/c I'm too cocky and I'm a smart a$$. She thinks I'm some spoiled rich kid (I'm far from it) that's just working there just for the experience while my manager always talks about her personal problems. She's just jealous that I have a nicer car than her and she's a manager and my car is real nice by the way.

So after she told me J got fired, my other manager sticks up for her and says, I don't believe that, she worked her butt off and even stayed almost 3 hours past her shift to help us out last night. I was agreeing with all of it, and she said "oh well, maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow".

Well I'm soooo pissed off, mainly b/c the girl was scheduled to work until 11 which menat 12:00 or so (waiters have to do their sidework b4 they leave). I already had to stay afterwards until 2 b/c some other girl quit and there were no waiters, only me and the cool manager, but it would have been just me and her talking and me setting something up cuz the place was dead and I was just chillin'. I planned on visiting her at her house sometime during the week and watch a movie or whatever or get high or whatever but just to be better acquainted with her. I think it would have worked but I don't see her until wednesday cuz she got fired.

If I see her on Wednesday, I'm gonna holla at her like I don't even know her b/c I'll be seeing her in her plain clothes instead of work clothes and I'm gonna act like I don't know her and get her number and see if she has a man and what not. It'll be tight, I'll keep you updated.

posted 01-28-2002 05:22 PM            

Anyway.. Great post! I have learned this along time ago but I really never thought about it.

posted 01-29-2002 12:20 AM            

And no, I don't work at the IHOP.

posted 01-29-2002 05:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by galactus:
StuartScott: Sorry I never responded, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to advise you on that. If it was me, and she was at least 18, I'd tell her to meet me somewhere we could have a good time outside the work environment. I have no more patience for the chump bullsh!t. I think it's best to find a tactful way of saying you want to fvck her. If she's not agreeable, forget you ever met her. If she is, well there you go...

And no, I don't work at the IHOP.

ABM: Damn, it's great to know we're not all that ignorant.

---

posted 01-31-2002 04:07 PM            

Anyone else think this needs Bible attention?
Please say so so it will get noticed...

posted 02-01-2002 10:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PoachR75:

I truly think Galatus' original post is Bible material. Anyone agree? You guys have to understand the mindset of the service industry women. His guidlines are ON TARGET. But also remember that you have to be laid back, subtley become a regular, and strike at the right time (this may be 6 months or a year or more after you first set foot in a place). A good way to start becoming a regular is get people from work to start going the same place for happy hour maybe the same day every week, and after a while, the female waitresses and barmaids will remember you. Remember to tip consistantly (20-25%).

Anyone else think this needs Bible attention?
Please say so so it will get noticed...

Bump

---

Wow, I am truly honored. *sniff*

Seriously, I am. If you start showing up with friends from work, that might be a cool idea. It shows you're a fun guy, and you actually have friends. But this is important: Be the one that doesn't act like an idiot.

posted 02-04-2002 01:31 PM            

"Bump" means that you thought a great post should be bumped up on the list by way of a recent reply post. By doing this, I puts the topic up to the top of the list again...
Like this...

posted 03-14-2002 05:48 PM            

Today I had a job interview and will know within short time whether I get the job, which is expected. Anyone who is familiar with the mexican restaurant chain, it's for a Chevy's.

I want to know if waitresses generally only date the fellow staff, generally date non-co-workers, or is generally mixed. I imagine demanding/inconsistent schedules place good pressure on any non-work related dating or relationship; is this correct or not? If I am correct, I have future booty to deal with.

If anything, if I do get the job, I will get great first-hand insight on just how pathetic and stupid men can be.

posted 03-15-2002 03:45 PM            

Yesterday this chump gave a waitress a 50 dollar tip. He waved the money in front of her tits and said, "Can I put it in there?" She said sure, and leaned forward while he stuffed it in her bra.

I asked her what his name was. She said, "How the fvck do I know? Who cares?" My point exactly.

Guys guys guys guys guys! Please learn from this idiot, so his sacrifice will not have been in vain. He wasted 50 bucks, in addition to the cost of his meal, for the thrill of copping a feel. And that's the only thrill he's ever going to get from this chick.

I know his thinking: She's gonna be impressed because I gave her so much money. Next time I come in here, I'll leave her another fifty, and then she'll start remembering me. Sooner or later, she's going to be so turned on by my generosity, she'll be dying to fvck me.

There's better odds of Jupiter colliding with Earth.

If you want to really understand just how sad the male gender is, get a restaurant job. I'm convinced the enlightened men, like most of us that visit this website, only make up about 1%, or less.

Even the really good-looking guys are clueless. the only competition I have at work is this cook, a Mexican guy that the chicks all think is hotter than Antonio Banderas. If I was this guy, I'd have to beat the bytches off with a stick. But I watch how he acts with the waitresses, and he gets nowhere with them. They like to hug him, and he plays grab-ass with a couple of them, but that's as far as it goes.

He bragged to me about one girl that works there, came in drunk one Saturday night and let him touch her breast. Then I told him about the time she blew me for a half hour, and then I fvcked her. That pissed him off, which was really funny.

Just remember, if you meet a girl and wages depend to some degree on getting a tip or commission from selling you something, she's only being nice so you will give her your money.

That's also why she looks so hot. Waitresses put on makeup, open the top three or four buttons of their blouses, and wear extrememly tight pants, just to get your money. Sorry, they don't give a sh!t about you, stud.

I don't know what else to add to my original post, so now I'll address the questions.

Clouseau(Love your movies): Being a waiter is great for my social life. I don't go to bars, so it's my main place for meeting chicks. And I work with a bunch of fine ones.

Most waitresses are already in relationships when they start working there, but that means diddly, in my opinion. I've met a couple that say they don't date guys they work with, a mentality I don't get, and which I don't totally believe, since I had caveman sex with one of these girls several times.

Yeah, the conflicting schedules can sometimes be a pain in the ass, but sometimes they don't conflict at all. Working with the same chick every weeknight, you can really bond with her to the point where she loves being with you and you're on her mind a lot. The nights you're not there, she's thinking about you and looking forward to the next time.

On the other hand, if you work different shifts, or different days, whatever, it can be a pain, but if she's interested, she'll make the effort.

Where I work, my schedule is pretty consistent, but yeah, it can take its toll on you. I was awake for over forty hours straight before I finally passed out this morning at about 5am. Then my brother called and woke me at 10am. But I really love my job, so I deal with it.

Yes, you will get that insight. I'd love to know what you think about these chumps after you've worked there for awhile. If you ever need to know how to act around women, just look at them, and do the opposite.

Stroke Artist: I haven't worked in a bar for many years, but from what I do know, I would have to say it works the same way. At a busy bar with a pretty female bartender, just imagine how many guys hit on her. Only in this situation she's probably even less impressed by you because your eyes are red, you're slurring your words, and you're breathing Budweiser in her face. Sexy.

Be a fairly frequent customer, don't act like you're blown away by how hot she is, and show some class.

posted 03-15-2002 04:22 PM            

How would you close with one of these women? Say the ones you worked with/saw regularly?

My personal weakness is coffee baristas, but the same prinicples doubtless apply.