posted 10-22-2001 07:48 PM            

It�s been said that warmth is the # 1 quality a man must acquire if he wants to ease the soreness of his wrist and start using his hips.

In the initial stages of courtship, challenge will get you nowhere. You have to meet women first and charm them (make them taste the bait).

Warmth is nothing more than the ability to make people feel that they matter to you, and yet, few people seem to get it. Once and for all, get this : WARMTH is not sexual, or sleazy ; it�s light and pleasant. So there�s no need to come on all hot and heavy. The trick is to come on with all the friendliness and fun at your disposal . Even the most uptight biatches will find it hard to react fearfully or angrily to someone who makes them feel loved and appreciated. Because most of us were culturally brainwashed to equate happiness with approval, we just love to feel appreciated (go ask a squirrel if he likes to feel appreciated by his peers.)

Warmth is the reason why Danny De Vito gets laid. Lack of warmth is probably the reason why you don�t.

For those of you who don�t seem to know how to be genuinely warm (and you are legion, or else this forum wouldn�t be so popular), I can teach you how to fake it. If you are recluse, if few people like you, if you feel that our modern world is cold and that people are suspicious and fearful, you don�t know how to be warm. Listen to this : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS. I repeat : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS.

WARMTH IS THE KEY.

Use this technique and within a few minutes women who were absolute strangers will be laughing at your silliest jokes and punching you playfully.

In a nutshell, here it is : Act as if the women you meet were long lost, unattractive school mates that you dearly loved.

Believe me, if you keep desire in check, you can make a woman feel loved and special just by the warmth in the tone of your voice and your smile.

You might have guessed it already, bursting your pants with a mighty hard on won�t help you to exude warmth. In fact, desire does to charisma what a 300 lbs gay culturist does to the new guy on his fist visit to the prison�s showers : no good. I know the metaphor is very poorly chosen, but it is nevertheless a powerful image. Desire makes you either insecure or lustful. It kills your chances before you even open your mouth.

Why is it that you can fake warmth when talking your old grand daddy or sound genuinely nice to your friend�s dog ? That�s right, you�re not picturing yourself pounding them like a maniac while making a conversation (assuming your sexual fantasies aren�t that exotic�. But who knows�.)

So don�t worry about your tone of voice, facial expression or physiology. Unless you're a splendid comedian, faking a facial expression will not serve your cause. Let�s face it : you can�t act. It will be a lot easier to fake warmth by changing how you represent what you see.

This means eliminating desire at its root. So if this means masturbating three times in a row and punching yourself in the crouch before you get out of the house (for the eternal bachelors only), do it. However there is a simpler answer : when talking to a beautiful lady, pretend you alredy have someone in your life, pretend you are talking to your sister, pretend she is in fact a very feminine boy, whatever it takes.

When this is done, just pretend she�s a long lost friend and be interested in what�s happened to her.

I know what you�re thinking : I can�t be that nice to strangers� what am I gonna look like� I�m not like that. It�s not my style.

That�s right, you�re not like that and you are BORING.

Think of the person you could become. See a warm, charming individual who listens to what people have to say (a rare commodity these days�). Now compare that person to the boring you, the one who dodges other people�s eyes and says : i know who loves me, all the other people can eat my shorts. You are probably right, a lot of people deserve to eat your shorts and aren't in the least bit interesting, but who would you rather be : a bitter, unexciting punk or a unique soul who persists in reaching out for other people ?

Warmth is the doorstep.

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Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

- Roosevelt

Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

THE DJ BIBLE

posted 10-23-2001 10:25 AM            

quote:

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I do not understand this phrase. Listen to this : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS. I repeat : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS.

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The meaning of your communication is what other people perceive when they talk with you. What you say is 10 % of what they actually interpret, the other 90 % is conveyed by your attitude, facial expression, voice, etc.

Other people's reaction to you gives you a clue on the quality of your communication.

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Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

- Roosevelt

Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

posted 10-23-2001 10:25 AM               

Another great post. Thanks for the tip. Keep them coming.

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IntermediateDonJuaner,

I think that Challenge Guy means by that statement is that the way are are to people is the way they will treat you back. If you come off as a cold stuckup person, they will reciprocate back the way you were to them. They will respond as a cold stuckup person to you. You want to come off as a warm person and they will respond back as a warm person. If I am misinterperting your statement Challenge Guy, please correct me.

Thanks,

Legend

posted 10-23-2001 10:45 AM            

quote:

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I think that Challenge Guy means by that statement is that the way are are to people is the way they will treat you back. If you come off as a cold stuckup person, they will reciprocate back the way you were to them. They will respond as a cold stuckup person to you. You want to come off as a warm person and they will respond back as a warm person.

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posted 10-23-2001 07:06 PM            

I don't think warmth and challenge are in conflict. Ideally, you want a girl to crave being around you, (warmth, etc...) and desire it more.

posted 11-02-2001 12:32 PM            

quote:

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I think certain situations are funny...when they think it is serious...& it that can be somewhat counterproductive to a female...so what can you do if you have that tendency to think situations are funny..when they are not to the person...What can you do to hide it and act serious and warmth? like...

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I'd say it depends on the reason why you think something is funny, but as a general rule, being light and funny is a plus in the initial stages of courtship.

My grand father used to say : if a girl isn't worth a laugh, she's an uptight biatch that will drive you crazy, so always breast feed the koalas, always.

As you might have guessed, my grand father had an uptight wife, but the first part of his advice rings true to me. I forgot to mention that he had a green house and blue land mower.... but that's beside the point.

However, remember this : do not laugh at her (unless you teasing her, but if you do, never make fun of her feelings.)