posted 09-06-2001 07:23 PM               

Well, 2 girlfriends ago, when we broke up, she told me I never listened to her. How could this be? She called all the time, and we taked for a while. There is an inherant problem with my rebuttle. I will ease into it. You know when a girl talks, you would usually rather be somewhere else. You don't care what she thinks, because in most cases, what she thinks is wrong. Funny thing is, it reciprocates. They care about what we have to say about as much as we care about their thoughts.

But it is a conversation, right? When they talk, they expect a response. They want a little input to see if we are listening, or if we are smart and have an opinion. Well, I presumed this was so. It works that way with other men, why wouldn't it work with women?

Guys:
"How bout them Braves?"
"Hell yeah. Maddux is a pimp." (etc.)

Notice the agreement, and the input afterwards. I now describe correct form with women:

Girls:
"I'm so tired today. My parents were giving me all this crap last night, and I blah blah blah new shoes blah blah nails blah blah. I think I did the right thing."
".....Yeah"

Notice how I didn't comment on anything, just let the crap fly out of her lips, and agreed afterward. This alone will not take care of the situation. Although you care not what she says, it must appear that you do care. There are a few pointers you must be aware of.

Always look into her eyes. This is a good thing to do in any situation. If she looks away for a second, feel free to look at any other body part, but keep them on the eyes when she looks back at you. This is not a stare. Just be relaxed, and act like she has your focus. You can think about something else if it keeps your ears from bleeding. Also, keep a light smile, or grin on, like you agree with, or enjoy what she is saying.

Nod if she pauses, or say yeah. If she laughs, laugh a little with her. It hurts to fake a smile for so long, but you'll get used to it. Few guys have mastered this, less yet practice it, giving you a huge edge. One of the first thing a girl mentions in your description is "Oh and he's such a great listener."

posted 09-07-2001 08:34 PM            

Though I'm considered a very outgoing person, I've been told by many woman (and men and family members) that I'm an excellent listener.

In my mind I think I'm very impatient so it's shocking that many over the years have said I'm an excellent listener.

I guess the main ingredient is to treat what others are saying as something that's very important to them, even if it's boring and repetitive to you.

Dead on about making the eye contact. This applies to both genders. After all, wouldn't we all like to think that what's important to us is considered important to who we are sharing it with?

posted 09-08-2001 08:05 AM            

Is she trying to say listen to her when she speaks or listen to what she said an do exactly as told.? Do you follow what i am saying here? Maybe she gets angry with you because you did not listen carefully to what she said. For example:

She: I am hungry, could you buy me some food to eat? A burger will do

You: Okay.

Instead of buying her a burger,you bought something else. Maybe this is what she is trying to say. YOU DON'T LISTEN!. I think there is a huge difference between listening and listening exactly what's been told and react accordingly to instructions or questions

I hope this helps

posted 09-08-2001 09:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IntermediateDonJuaner:
Okay , I have something important here to add in. When a woman says listening is very important because she likes a person that listens to her, what does she mean exactly?

Is she trying to say listen to her when she speaks or listen to what she said an do exactly as told.? Do you follow what i am saying here? Maybe she gets angry with you because you did not listen carefully to what she said. For example:

She: I am hungry, could you buy me some food to eat? A burger will do

You: Okay.

Instead of buying her a burger,you bought something else. Maybe this is what she is trying to say. YOU DON'T LISTEN!. I think there is a huge difference between listening and listening exactly what's been told and react accordingly to instructions or questions

I hope this helps

Have a nice day!

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posted 09-09-2001 05:59 AM            

Psychologists had proved that a person's self-esteem will be hurt if they are not heard when they speak.

To make things more precise, just imagine when you're talking to someone, they don't listen to you. How would you feel? Let us say now if a woman is asking you to do a favour for her and you make a mistake because you did not listen, how will she feel? Maybe that's the reason why women said most don't listen carefully to what they say.

Does this answer your question?