posted 07-29-2000 04:57 PM            

or, "A Portrait of the Chump as a Young Man"

You meet a beautiful woman, you don't have the courage to make a move on her, but you become "friends".

You spend the next several months (or years!) of your life obsessing about this woman, pining for her from a distance, never having the courage to even touch her hand. Occasionally, you'll get a friendly hug or a friendly peck on the cheek, and you will pathetically crave and need these displays of affection, which for her are nothing but friendly overtures, but for you are the tip of some *imaginary* iceberg of lust and sexual furor. You'll go home, lay on your bed, and jerk off three times a day while fantasizing about her.

You watch her date other men, smiling and shaking their hand, patting them on the back, (because she's your FRIEND, after all). It's like a knife in the gut when they stick their tongue down her throat in front of you, and you can't even allow yourself to imagine them ****ing her because you might have to kill yourself.

You won't be able to approach other women either because you've convinced yourself that you're supposed to be with this one woman, and it's better to be her "friend" than nothing at all to her. So you'll be alone, just you and your right hand, and the misery will build, the frustration will grow, until it is unbearable. You're rolling around on the floor crying, or bent over clutching your gut, saying "Why? Why? Why won't she love me?" and you decide you MUST do something. Anything! You agonize over it for days, going over every possible permutation of the conversation in your head. You can't sleep at night because you keep running through what you are going to say.

Finally, over an otherwise totally innocent cup of coffee, you decide to broach the subject. You casually mention that you think the two of you would be better as a couple. Oh, you think you're being so suave and subtle, don't you? But she laughs, because she thinks you're joking, since to her it's so blatantly obvious the two of you could never be more than friends. This breaks your carefully constructed facade (because all of the scenarios you ran through in your twisted, obsessive mind never ended with her rejecting you; that wasn't even a possibility in your consideration). It puts you on the defensive -- you have to rebuild your little fantasy, so you start listing the reasons why you are right for each other and explaining how deeply you feel about her, not noticing the look of horror growing on her face as she realizes that the deepest thing about you is your set of deep-seated psychological problems. Directly as possible she puts you in your place and beats a hasty retreat outta there.

You, of course, are crushed and hate yourself for being so stupid as to tell her how you really feel. Now you don't even have her as a friend, she's totally out of your life. So you immediately plan to regain her friendship...because "it's better to have her as a friend yadda yadda yadda." You call her or meet her, and totally lie and debase yourself. "Oh, silly me, it was just a crazy idea, I've been lonely, but I'm all over it now, I really couldn't bare to lose your friendship, blah blah blah." She, of course, accepts you back as a friend because she enjoys having you around to give her rides home and go to coffee or movies with between boyfriends. You, of course, are back to jerking off three times a day and living in misery. Somewhere in the distance, though, you can hear a voice. If you strain, you can make it out. . . listen . . . it's saying something to you . . .it's saying something. . . it's saying . . .. "Welcome, young sir. Welcome to Hell."

THERE IS A SOLUTION!!!!

The only way to fix this, is to go through the HORROR of getting to meet more girls.. IT will hurt and it will kill and it will make you feel so bad. But in the end you will have girls calling your house asking to hang with you and that cant be bad can it. LOL

And then you will look back and see just how incompetent you were when you were an average frustrated chump. The most noble and commendable thing an wuss can do is take action to change it. Just taking action in itself is a reward in itself. For an average person the change over shouldnt take longer than about 3 months. After which you will probably have already accumulated 5 or so girls. Which is about 5 more than what you would have had if you didnt go and try.

Go out and approach 4 women every day! Thats only 4! You could EASILY do it in an hour! Yes, you will get rejected MANY times, yes you will be nervous and afraid, and yes you will overcome your fears and start seeing RESULTS!!! How many success stories have you guys seen on this board? Not many. Just a bunch of whiners who arent ready to commit themselves to becoming more succesfull with women. I challenge all of you to get your asses in gear and make a commitment to changing yourself and overcoming your fears!!!

posted 07-29-2000 10:35 PM            

Thanks man, but it can't be done by one person.

Everybody needs to do their bit!

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*Hidden-Danjer* -Top english geezer

posted 07-30-2000 09:43 PM            

We older Dons need to train up these newbies!
If that means using the old material then so be it!

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*Hidden-Danjer* -Top english geezer

posted 07-15-2001 02:49 PM            

Really, truer words were never said. But I'm different now.

So once-and-for-all:

posted 07-15-2001 05:23 PM            

Make a move! Otherwise you'll slip into the LJBF zone without realizing it. I made that mistake once (see my "Just Ranting... post), and I wasn't here at the time so I couldn't get help. But now I know how to stop this "friends" BS.

Friends don't let friends get girl "friends"!

posted 11-26-2001 01:12 AM            

You won't be able to approach other women either because you've convinced yourself that you're supposed to be with this one woman, and it's better to be her "friend" than nothing at all to her. So you'll be alone, just you and your right hand.

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posted 04-02-2002 11:56 AM            

I had a girl just like this when i was 14, I was in love with her for 2 years and was just her friend (f*ckin torture). When I was 16, I finally said f*ck it and started talking to as many girls as I could. So I lost my virginity, slept with 2 more girls, and had a long term relationship for about a year and 1/2. After the long term relationship, guess who I f*cked one month later? The girl who I was in love with for f*ckin 2 wasted years of my life. That was 2 years ago and was still the best sex I ever had. Why did she give it to me? Maybe because I wasn't on her nuts anymore, I had no more problems talking to girls, and I really didn't care if I got some or not, (was cocky+funny) etc., etc.

Oh yeah, she didn't really talk to me anymore after that (except to cocktease me once), lol, but who cares, i got mine.

Now, I just got out of another long term relationship, and chilled with this girl that I had accidentally got into the 'friend' zone back in highschool. And, I'm about 90% sure I'm gonna get some next weekend. If I don't, guess what? She goes back to being what she used to be, a friend, who's friends I f*cked.

posted 04-02-2002 05:05 PM            

That's pretty damn cool!

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*Hidden-Danjer*

Yes, I am British... Yes, I am better than the rest of you! :D

Visit my website, tell me what you think?