posted 05-13-2000 02:01 AM               

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Originally posted by BigDon:

Hay Great Post! I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm just responding to your post. I was wondering if you could give me some advice. Today I talked to a girl who I haven't seen in a year. We don't really know each other that well. I go tanning were she works. So any way when she saw me she was like WOW I haven't seen you in so long! So she ask me how I was doing and what I have been up to these days. And I responded that I really wasn't doing much of anything. Witch was true. Any way, after I taned I came out and asked her what she has been up to. She told me she was liveing in the states and she's back home in Canada now. But, I don't know, she said she dosn't go to the bars and she dosn't do anything fun any more. I got the vibe that she really isn't interested in me. But do you think maybe I should have said somthing diferint that maybe could have got her interested? Bert

Guys who are strictly nice, for the most part, finish last. I used to be one - I speak from experience. That is, until that day when I had enough and decided that something had to give - either I'd keep getting treated like crap and make a life out of it, or start from within and change my whole attitude. Well, if you've been reading my posts for any length of time, it should be pretty obvious what direction I chose. I now see myself as a nice jerk - not one extreme or the other but somewhere in the middle. And hopefully the following pointers will help you get to that point if you desire to change your life around like I did and get some more play.
For starters, demonstrate to her that you have an opinion. Nothing is more annoying than going out with someone who has no mind of their own. Don't straddle the fence about anything, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem..Italian or Chinese....going out vs. staying in...Pepsi vs Coke. ANYTHING! This demonstrates decisiveness...you have a clear sense of what satisfies and are not going to tolerate anything less than that. In ANY aspect f your life. In a relationship, this comes into play all the time - you're set on going someplace and she decides then that she doesn't, etc. DOn't play into that! I got into an argument with the girl I was seeing at the time on New Year's Eve and we were to spend the night at a nice downtown hotel. She was carrying on like a baby that afternoon and started saying that she was so annoyed with things that she didn't even know if she wanted to get together. What did I do? I told her that that's her decision but that I am not going to put up with that b.s. And then I hung up on her. She called back in a few minutes, apologized and quit her whining.
Secondly, have more than one option. This is something I always stress but only because it is so true. When you get hung up on a honey sometimes, you start wondering about every little thing she does - did she go out tonight? With who? WHy didn't she call? ETC! I have always put myself in a position where, quite franky, I am way too busy to even worry about what she (or any) of the women in my life are doing! It's actually a nice break when I DON'T hear from them! More than one option makes you relaxed and allows you "give" - you can afford to make a mistake because you have a "spare".
Also, be sure to tease her. The "nice guy" is way too damn polite and is afriad of offending. Now I do not offend, but I do have fun with the women I date because I give them a hard time about stupid things - I tease them about their drinking habits, their jobs, anything! It totally lightens the mood and I welcome their insults back - it creates a whole "playful" atmosphere - which always lends itself well to practicing keno. I honestly don't waste my time with women who can't joke back. And I have this concept so down that women are constantly telling me about how funny I am.
Lastly, don't always make yourself available. If you have more than one option, this will be easy. Like I said, it's hard for me sometimes to find the time, and that is a beautiful thing to be in such demand! But don't call her everyday, don't e-mail every day, don't get her tired of hearing from you. And let's face it - does anything new and exciting happen to YOU every day? Probably not. It's like newspaper delivery - you get used to it showing up that it gets to the point where you may not even read it. But miss a day and you get as mad as hell, right? Let her miss you. Don't let her think, even if you do, that she is the center of your life.
Well, that's all from me for now. I think these are the basics that you need to know in order to turn yourself into being a nice jerk like me. I always treat women with respect, but I also look out for number one - Big Don. And bro, that's whose most important in all of this, because if you can't look in the mirror and be happy with who you see looking back, then that's when you got problem. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

TCB

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posted 06-07-2001 07:32 AM            

Mine was when I realized that my "niceness" (in reality, idiocy) was keeping me not only from women but from generally having fun as a social individual, and when I realized that I was getting more and more into drugs because I couldn't get pleasure anywhere else.

I forced myself to learn how to be happy anytime, anywhere, no matter what the circumstances. It doesn't matter if happiness just comes "naturally" or if you make it come with a conscious decision. You're still happy.

After I got through the bs fear of "becoming somebody I'll hate" and realized that I already was, I shed the past like a snake sheds its skin. Going from drugs to women was the second best choice I ever made, after the choice to be happy.

I used to think that being happy all the time was uncool. I wallowed in depression and loved every minute of it. But it wasn't getting me anywhere, and I had to get rid of it. I'm glad I did.

posted 06-07-2001 10:00 PM            

I have two things to add. Usually when a girl starts acting up or seems to be taking me for granted, I don't call her for about 2 weeks and than they seem more than excited to hear from me. I guess this is true what they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Secondly, there are alot of fellas in here that think that being friends with a girl will lead to a relationship.Well, get this out of your head. I had to learn this the hard way. I tried being friends with girls that I like by just speaking to them over the phone but this sh-it doesn't work. So, if you like a girl ask her out as soon as possible. Fu@k rejection, Fu@k her lying, Fu@k commitment until you are really experienced with women. Women are like tires fellas, you will always need a spare.

posted 06-08-2001 02:59 AM               

just be yourself, that a good thing BUT!!!!!....nice guys finish last

1. example-------> my cousin has a baby momma he's been with for 7 years. he mentally abuses her AAALLLLLLL the time. Im theere most of the time to hear it. he call hers a *****..oops excuse me, he figures its not as harmful cause he says," your MY *****"...what does she do? ANYTHING for that guy.
my cousin->"im hungry go buy me something"

cousins baby momma->" what do you want to eat"

my cousin-"i dont know, anything expensive!!, use your head, if you have one"

CBM->" okay you dont have ta' yell ill be bacjk with something for you to eat"

Now he physically abuses her, he grabbed her throat in fron tof the kids, and me...on this past monday. she trheatened to leave him...you know what they did that night?....had sex alll niigghttt long. why? cause he wanted it.

she got married to another guy( niceguy) while with my cousin. He took her in, cared for her and the two kids that werent his....after a year she left him and went back to my cousin. He didnt even ask for her to come back...now she has all this money coming from the marriage from the nice guy...it doesnt pay to be nice.
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I too used to be a nice guy cause my mother brought me up right. But i knew i had to change when the only gf ive ever had cheated on me with my (badboy,loser)friend with no job, and no ambition, after a year and a half.

I did everything for that girl,i was her best friend, i was always there for her and she screwed me over just all the rest of these chicks out here do to good men. she ****ed him, i found out, all through the last 2 months we were together until he fnally admitted it.

A. the problem was, i was nice/gentlemen.

B. I trusted her around him, or anybody ( what an idiot i was to trust a girl)

C. again, i was a nice/gentlemen.

I havent dated since, that was almost 3 years ago.

posted 06-09-2001 04:54 PM            

All of this has added up to a level of confidence I never had previously. Presently, I have one woman begging to sleep with me, and I'm considering not doing so because it might interfere with other activities I enjoy. To put it simply, sex with her, or any woman for that matter, is not nearly as important as it once was.

This perspective is the secret to frustrating the game of many women. Most of us are aware that women use sex as a lure, namely, they dress sexy, flirt, flaunt their bodies, etc... Even during dating, a woman will use sex (i.e. hold out) to keep the guy coming back for more. But what if you react to women by acting like you already have everything in your life you could possibly want, and that what she offers is nice, but not necessary for your happiness?

One of two things can happen: (1) she gets angry and blows you off, or (2) she works even harder to get your attention. If the former, she probably had ulterior motives, and her temper is better inflicted on someone else. If the latter, you are in the driver's seat, and the sky is the limit.

I'll keep everyone apprised -- the worst that can happen is that I keep building my confidence by spending my time doing things that will better myself. What more could a man ask for?

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It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...

posted 06-11-2001 01:25 AM            

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Originally posted by Pierre94:
Well Wutang; when u mean nice guy i hope u are not referring to polite, considerate and respectful. this is the way I am, and I am not going to stoop low to become some badboy!!

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you will never get mad play with this idea stuck in your head

read my sig, and keep reading it like a bloody mantra...

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"Don't listen to women who say they crave caring, touchy-feely men. Women only want a sensitive man until a real man walks through the door. As long as men cater to the whims and destructive nature of women, men will continue to bury their rage and become the sissy-boys women don't really want."

posted 01-16-2002 09:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sting:
I too am a reformed "nice guy." Over the past 5-6 years I've put up with a great deal of garbage from women, just for a chance at long-term sex. Recently, my life underwent a tremendous change. First, I discovered this web site and forum. Second, I switched to a much higher paying job. Third, I moved apartments to luxury high rise.

All of this has added up to a level of confidence I never had previously. Presently, I have one woman begging to sleep with me, and I'm considering not doing so because it might interfere with other activities I enjoy. To put it simply, sex with her, or any woman for that matter, is not nearly as important as it once was.

This perspective is the secret to frustrating the game of many women. Most of us are aware that women use sex as a lure, namely, they dress sexy, flirt, flaunt their bodies, etc... Even during dating, a woman will use sex (i.e. hold out) to keep the guy coming back for more. But what if you react to women by acting like you already have everything in your life you could possibly want, and that what she offers is nice, but not necessary for your happiness?

One of two things can happen: (1) she gets angry and blows you off, or (2) she works even harder to get your attention. If the former, she probably had ulterior motives, and her temper is better inflicted on someone else. If the latter, you are in the driver's seat, and the sky is the limit.

I'll keep everyone apprised -- the worst that can happen is that I keep building my confidence by spending my time doing things that will better myself. What more could a man ask for?

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posted 01-17-2002 04:04 PM               

and let's buy him a subcription to Playboy and a whole bunch of paper towels.

Dude, read this post as much as you can.