posted 04-15-2001 03:00 PM            

So what is a Man? How should he act? Decades and centuries ago, the question was nonsense. But today in our feminized culture (this may be more in America then in other countries), most of us have been raised to believe that there is something inherently wrong with being a man and acting the way how a man should act. No wonder males don't know how to act around women! No wonder websites like these exist!

Indeed, I embarked on this mystery to find out the answer to this question. Several women were bunched up in a group, gossiping and yapping about cute boys, fashion, relationships i.e. nothing. This behavior extends to all women of all cultures (and also different animal species. Cows group together and moo and gnaw on grass and take notice of bulls brave enough to approach the group).

I approach. "How are you, ladies!! I am the Pook."

A woman squeals. "Oh! It's a Pook!" The others squeal in unison.

Once the ladies calm themselves after being in the presence of a Pook, I ask them, "Ladies! Do tell me, what do you define as a Man?"

With devilish tongues, the women answer:

"A Man is someone sensative to me."
"A Man is the guy who will take care of my needs."
"A Man is the one that is in tune with my feelings."
"A Man is one who doesn't have an ego."
"A Man is the guy who will sit and watch chick flicks all day with me."
"A Man is the guy who will go shopping with me."
"A Man is the guy who will share all his feelings with me."

Such are the common answers! The males listen and actualize what the women say. They are constantly declared 'sweet' and 'wonderful' and 'nice', oh 'so nice'. Mothers and older women are proud of them and tell them, "If I were younger, I would go for you!"

Poor Nice Guy! The women his own age avoid him like the plague and jump for the jerks. The Nice Guy becomes an emotional tampon to be used and discarded. The Nice Guy, being so nice and sweet, listens to the woman vomit her feelings about men and bleed her problems of her boyfriend on him. He listens with baited hope when he hears, "Oh, why can't guys be like you! You listen and understand." Then she turns around and gets abused by another jerk! The vicious cycle repeats again and again.

Why are women acting in this way?

They are simply acting as women do, as in their nature. The problem is not with them, it is with guys. We are afraid to embrace OUR nature, that of being a Man. Being in a culture that sees Manhood as predatory and oppressive and uncouth, we cover it up within ourselves. By doing so, we hide our sexuality. (Sexuality! Do I mean rock hard abs and rippling muscles? That is not what women find sexy [it's a contributing factor, not the core]. A type of PERSONALITY is what women are looking for. Someone they can depend on [has backbone], someone who will be successful [has ambition], and someone who is decisive [has charge]. Nice guys have no backbone because they think women are frail things that will break in confrontation; nice guys reveal no ambition because they fear being seen as arrogant to women; nice guys are afraid to be decisive for fear of being seen as 'oppressive'.)

Two poles of thought men drift into: the Nice Guy and the Jerk. Both blame the other.

"You ruin the women with your lack of commitment and unappreciative nature," says the Nice Guy.

"You spoil the women with your endless listening ear and stupid caring attitude," replies the Jerk.

The two endlessly war. Those on the sidelines have their own conclusions. One side says, "The Jerk is the way to go. Ceaseless sex! Evolution demands it." The other side says, "The Nice Guy is the way to go. Glorious relationship! Society demands it."

But the two still argue.

"You cause the women to think they are in control," says the Jerk.

"Ahh, but you cause the women to think all men are scum," replies the Nice Guy.

Is there not an end to the Nice Guy vs.Jerk debate? Are these the only choices?

The Cycle

The Nice Guy emerges. He is tenderized and wants to shout in every woman's ear "I will not abuse you. I am sweet and good. Based on that alone you should date me." When the Nice Guy talks to the girl on a date, *poof*, the date turns into Oprah. "Oh, my life has been SO downhill from here," the Nice Guy whines. "My little girly car was slashed, I failed my classes, but because of you this day has been so much better." Then the Nice Guy goes, "Let me tell you my life story. My birth was long, hard, and painful for my mother..." Our culture has become so feminized that the Nice Guy thinks it is proper to vomit his feelings and emotions all over the place. (It's gross!) Women, rightfully, run for the hills when they hear your declarations of love.

The Metamorphosis comes. The Nice Guy eventually realizes what all the ladies want, becomes bitter, and changes himself into a Jerk. His goal now is to sleep with as many women as possible and figure out all the tricks and tactics to do so. He focuses on calculation rather then natural joy. When a woman comes, he pulls out a chart of all the 'moves' and 'tactics' with arrows and patterns. He unleashes his lap top, accesses a Lay Guide, and reviews his strategy. Time passes and once was fun becomes meaningless.

Back to being nice. He sees it now as turning on Nice Guy or turning on Jerk. "Why can't I just be myself!?" he soon thunders at Reality.

Just be a Man! There is no need to reprogram yourself. You will have the interests you have, the hobbies you have, the body you have, but you can easily become a MAN. It is all simply in the way how you think and as you think you shall become. But what is Man? Shall we have the answer? Here it is:

A Man is a guy who is not scared of his testosterone!

A Man follows the passion in his life. Passion of women? Of course not. A Man has goals and desires that goes above that of chasing chicks. After childhood, there are TRUE winners and losers in life. A Man desires to be the winner. A Man WANTS to win in what he does. Because of his passion, a Man can sometimes come off as arrogant and egotistical. He does not apologize for this or for his desires.

"It is your actions that cause the disgrace of Men," says the Nice Guy.

"It is yours," replies the Jerk.

No, gentlemen, the disgrace of men is in not embracing your true nature: following your passion and, thus, loving life. Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't SPEND your time chasing girls, INVEST it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.

When you do this, all of a sudden you have what every woman wants: Ambition, charge, decisiveness, backbone, kindness, stableness, and confidence.

I want you to read what a women posted as what SHE thought was a great guy. (Focus on what I put in BOLD)

quote:

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"Qualifications" of a great guy"
1)Physical
A bit athletic so he's in shape and a good complexion(If he can help it). Very focused, intelligent eyes which pay attention to whoever deserves it. Hair that can be tossled...and a relaxed, but tidy wardrobe.

2)Emotional
His attitude has gotta be mostly deterministic and level-headed. If crappy stuff happens to him...he should roll with the punches and learn from it. If he ends up doing crappy stuff then he should get up, brush off and be a better guy the next time round.
-He must also have deep convictions: he should NEVER give up his ideals or morals for anything.
-I know it sounds cheezy, but he must be respectful to his mother(it reflects character)...even if she is witchy like some moms these days.
-And of course:sense of humor, artistic, and an awesome boyfriend.

3)Social
A great guy is the one who offers the girls a chair, opens doors etc.(But isn't a total flirt--he just considers it his duty.)
-A guy should clean up his language around girls.
-He should stand up for people who are being bashed in conversations. That's important to us girls b/c back-stabbing is common among us--and we REALLY notice when somebody isn't a gossip.
-Aaaand my personal thing is that he should be the guy who "could" be the center of attention...but he prefers to hang out with the few guys in the back who are his genuine friends.
Phew...I hope this helped a bit. Physique: as long as it's within the usual bounds is pretty much unimportant.
If you want to get a really great girl...start working on your character and self-control--(not b/c it's you, but b/c those two things are REALLY uncommon these days)--because a great girl is one who's been working on that already and she'll recognize it in you.

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A Man has character and deep convictions. He has PASSION in life about something. It is this passion that transforms his life, gives him confidence, and gives him joy. It is this PASSION that will give you that right mindset for you have goals and dreams that go beyond chicks.

Remember, if you cannot command respect, you cannot attract love. If you cannot be respected, women will ignore you and/or abuse you.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was scrawny, cried easily, and was a total wuss. At the age of ten, his father looked down at him disapprovingly. "You are such a wimp!" he scolded at his son. The boy cried but eventually discovered what was wrong with him. He worked out, studied, and utilized himself. He went around the world in the most ferocious quests. He became strong and powerful. He entered politics and became an unstoppable force. He would be shot when giving a speech, but he would pull himself back up to continue the speech!

He was President Teddy Roosevelt, one of the more significant characters in America. If that little wimpy boy could become such a character, anyone can be a Man.

What do guys today do? We try to hide our strength and express our 'femininity'. Take an example of guys: early on in a relationship, they will show how 'great' they are by cooking for the woman!

As Anti-Dump said:

quote:

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Real men are not available. They are climbing mountains. They are swimming across rivers. What are YOU doing? Making spagetti?!?!?!

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A Man,

-Does not go through life walking on eggshells.

Nice Guys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" Good guys think, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?" The Good guy doesn't think about the girl's interest until they're dating. The Good guy looks at all the girls and TAKES what he wants.

-Focuses on his dreams.

No, this does not include the chick. You must have passion for something in life, something you even want to do for the rest of your life. Your romantic life is an echo of your regular life.

-Does not apologize for his testosterone, for his desires.

"Oh, I am so sorry, ladies! I am afflicted with this disease known as M.A.L.E. It is natural for me to glance at you, your oh so curvaceous body. I am soooo sorry. Please, please FORGIVE ME!"

Would a WOMAN apologize for her feminine acts? So why should YOU apologize for your masculinity?

-Tries to always win in what he does. (After childhood, there are real winners and losers in life.)

Men build towers; women build webs. If you aren't constructing your tower or aren't even planning it, why should she cast her web at you? If you want worthy chicks, you, yourself, must strive to become worthy.

-Has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader.

This is crucial because one day you will become the leader of your own household. Yes, we talk of 50/50, of everything being equal, but Nature's laws surpass that of Humans. Women naturally submit and nurture, Men naturally lead and provide.

If you were a woman, would YOU want a Nice Guy in charge of your household? Or would you want A MAN?

-Seeks to solve problems then to place blame.

If there is a problem, you solve it. You do not go, "Oh, BOO HOO! This was because of HIM." A woman naturally wants a guy who deals with problems, not pass them along. (Would you want that in your woman? Of course not!)

-Sees failure as only a temporary set-back to the inevitable.

Statistically, you're more likely to be REJECTED then to be ACCEPTED. So how do you become more and more accepted and have lots of girls? It is when you increase your trying so much that the acception rate satisfies you and you don't notice the rejections.

Napoleon Hill's book interviewing extremely successful people, these men of destiny did not let failure destroy them. Indeed, Napoleon concludes that Destiny puts out these trials and failures to TEST the men if they are proper and FIT for their role in shaping history.

-Knows where he is going in Life.

True seduction isn't calculation or painful discipline, it is the same as with everything that makes a success: A Passion for Life.

-Never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul.

Nice Guys HATE bachelorhood. They HATE, HATE, HATE it sooo much. Some even wish for the old days of arranged marriages so they wouldn't have to put up with all the games.

Jerks LOVE bachelorhood so much they can't see anything else in life. While women love guys that can get women, jerks offer nothing worthwile long term wise.

Alas, the women always try to change the Jerk but never the Nice Guy. Why? Because a Man is STRENGTH and a Jerk displays strength on some level. Nice Guys never do.

-Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone.

Flowers, candy, poetry all can be good additions to a relationship, but so many nice guys use them to BUY the relationship as if they must prove themselves. They flood with the poor woman with gifts to show they mean it.

So away with the flowers, those dead plants as tokens of affection. Away with the choclate, the candy, and sweets, those sugary pursuits to purchase love. Away with the poety, those rotten verses of declarations of love. Away with the quest to prove YOURSELF and let her prove HERSELF to you for YOU are the Don Juan.

Be a Man! And with it, you will advance in your career, your social life, and even your dealings with women. Men are very rare these days so if you become one, you will be in HIGH demand. Your career will become better as people look at you as a leader. Life will re-develop before your eyes for you will obtain the most single quality that men, not trophy husbands, not nice guys, not tactiful players, but men have a monopoly on: Respect.

posted 04-17-2001 06:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Pook:
For if you don't STAND for something, you shall FALL for everything!

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How appropiate that at the end of your article, you quoted Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., one of the greatest MEN of the last century.

posted 05-07-2001 06:41 AM            

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Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

posted 05-12-2001 03:49 AM            

You're as if our warrior.

posted 05-24-2001 03:18 AM            

but heres a consept: How bout just being yourself ( the crowd hushes)

now now people, its just a rule of thumb, be yourself, you wont be nervous.( the crowd covers their mouths in astoundment) is that a word? oh well...the reason why i saying this is cause you cant change the way you are. If your not all cocky like these guys in here are tryin to get you to be like then dont be cocky.

Its funny to me how when i go to the weightroom how many guys are lifting not just for physical health but because they want to impress girls. cause it will somehow give them confidence to approach girls cause theyll feel more like "THE MAN".

i laugh at them, me i run and lift only for physical health. not so a hot chick will like me or i'll feel more like "a man" when standing next to the oh so feminine girl. wanna know why guys???( everyone has a confused look on their face lol) because i have a dck in my pants......(WOW!!!) ..........yep, pretty kool huh? ( the crowd is now coming around to seeing what im saying)........yep i have a dck, and guess what? shhhhh dont tell anyone but i have balls too. ( huuuuuhh?? NO WAY!!!).....yep man....way. soooooo way. lolol

im not "a man" cause the way i walk, or how i look. but because i was naturally born a male. because i take responsiblity for my actions.

Now look at this guy Pook- he claims " man" is all this mumbo jumbo crap when all he's really explaning( with the exception of the testoterone comments) is how to be an optomist.

so i guess he's saying chicks are pesimist. tisk tisk pook. so they need an optomist to make them feel secure. again, i chuckle at you.

a man is this, a man is that. AGAIN, i chuckle at you.

"YOu arent a man if....."
AGAIN!!!!! i chuckle at you.

so what your saying is, im not a man, cause im introverted around girls? because i become shy?? huh Pook???? or better yet Huhhh anyone.

im not "a man" because i get discouraged? Its called being human!!! EVERYONE GETS DISCOURAGED AT SOMETHING EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.

im not a man cause i get nervous around girls? shhhhhhheeetttt thats logical, theresa lot on the line when you want talk to a girl no matter what you say cause once you stop talking to her and leave. Youll say, damn i shoulda said this, i shoulda said that.

FEMALES WANT DIFFERENT THINGS:...drumbroll please.........at different stages in life.

right now, were young, they like the badboy type. sorry guys but us gentlemen are on the backburner for now cause they figure were boring.

BUT! in actuality their confusing boring with, stable, grounded, ambitious,RESPONSIBLE!!!,intelligent blah blah blah.

us gentlemen ( not "a man") are considered boring if we dont pop a drug or drink alcohol to we almost puke then go driving. were considered boring if we call to see if their okay.( what the fcc is up with that? you may ask) your thinkin, she is my girl right? im supposed to care for her? ...NOPE!!....treat her like a peice of cow dung, she'll love you long time.

really i think if they tested it: just take a young female about oh lets say 15-24 and take a guy thats a "badboy" let them spend one month together. how much you wanna bet the worse he treats her, the more frequently he'll get head??? document that please mr.scientist "hmmmm yes very interesting, interesting indeed hmmmmm"

oh yea and your also considered "boring" if you dont drink PERIOD. they say your not "wild" enough. Hmmm so does that mean im not wild even though i dont drink yet i had sex with a girl behind the stairs in school once ( true story folks!) oh well, if im not doing shots im not kool and fun.

if i dont have a car with a loud system im boring. If im not hittin on other girls, im boring. but if i do " im a challenge" whatever the fcc that means!!!!!
*********************************************
Bottom line:

Be yourselves guys. Girls are dumb!!!!!! idiots if you will. they dont know what they like. every now and then(very rarely) youll find that hot level headed girl that takes no sht and likes to be treated like shes supposed to. I dont know about you all, but thats the kind i like.

for now though, just approach girls like yourself. Like "hey pretty/stupid girl. lets talk" you know as well as i do, she's dumb as fcc she's dying for someone to treat her like a wicked step child. cause most likely she comes from a broken home and she hates her dad and shes "bestfriends" with her mom.

when you talk to her about whatever ( i know its not easy to think of things to say) just pick her apart. if she has a lot of friends oops excuse me, associates, she probly doesnt like herself. which in turn means, shes givin up the ass no question.

oh yea, if she says" oh me and my mom are like sisters/bestfriends" shes givin up the ass. cause her mom didnt raise her right.

No father around!!!!????? Oh please someone stamp "fcc me" on her head. cause she'll do anything, if you talk her down and we all know that aint too hard.

posted 05-25-2001 05:08 AM            

Women like men who exhibit a certain sense of masculinity, men who have self worth, confidence in what they do, and the courage to do what they think is right, irrespective of the opinions of others. But don't assume that this means that all 'men' are the same. The traits of being a man sit over your personality, and that is what being yourself means.

No, not all women are the same, they have personality too. But over that sits a basic set of traits that they have that is all about being a woman. And oddly enough, they sit around and talk about how to attract the guy that will fire them up physically and emotionally. They even have own web sites where they talk about their problems with attracting men. They are 'woman' and we are 'man'.

So, bashful, if you like women and want to spend time with them and want them to want to spend time with you, start focusing on your fears rather than attacking them. All this anger in you wont change the world to your way of thinking. You are not Mohamed and the mountain aint coming to you, my friend.

posted 05-27-2001 02:40 AM            

one thing that i was thinking bout while reading the responses and pook's post... a MALE has Frank and Beans, but i think a Man is more of a state of mind/attitude that comes with those franks and beans ...

which depending on how you interpret that could relate to the being an optimist/pessimest thing that dude above was talking about...

posted 05-27-2001 03:20 AM            

And a MAN thinks positive.

posted 07-03-2001 03:50 PM            

Men need to have a passion for creativity; a love of life and all the things that make life better for themselves and others. Real men have learnt to recognize their irrational and unreasonable anger and to deal with it appropriately. This does not mean that they do not get angry and act in an effective manner when that is reasonable.

'Jerks' are sadistic, they enjoy hurting women and ultimately themselves whether they realize this or not. 'Good guys'are masochistic, they enjoy being hurt by women and passively hurting them again whether they know this or not. As you can see, both types of guys are really one and the same depending on their predominant attitude and beliefs on what being a man is.

The common denominator is anger, and in this context anger against women. This is usually in response to a woman's rejection or criticism, over neediness or over control. The average guy blames it all on the woman for CAUSING his anger. But this is sheer BULLSH!!, because we all can choose how we react to anybody in any situation. It is also a woman's perogative to act in any way she chooses. If she acts badly, a real man will understand and act appropriately not angrily.

Pook is correct when he says a real man must focus on himself and his passions first. Out of this will arise a sense of self-mastery and self-actualization which will just radiate out of him. All unreasonable anger will have gone and he will be a chick magnet. Of course he may already have his one and only, but that will not stop other women from admiring him. If a woman does not respond favourably to his courteous attentions then that is her loss.

Real men make peace(and love)not war. They do not hurt others or themselves in anyway for to do that is to be false to the ideals of a leader.

Yet, apart from a very fortunate vast minority of men who seem to have this wisdom from their late teenage years, for most of us others, we cannot hope to appreciate this wisdom until our 30's and 40's if at all. And then only after suffering through many fu#% ups, hurting ourselves and others. We just go through the same basic cycles, only a few details are different.

Bashful made many good points- We must learn to apply this wisdom to our own specific personality, preferences and situation. And it is so hard to work out the formula when we are in the middle of all the SH!!

So the answer is : 1)identify all the areas of SH!! in our lives. 2) Leave the SH!! behind and have a break from it, whatever it is, and 3) apply the principles espoused by Pook to your own situation and 4) work bloody hard on yourselves to achieve change and 5) don't ever go near that SH!! again with your previous attitude.

posted 07-03-2001 04:35 PM            

I didn't saw you often here? New? if so, welcome! We definitly need new spirit on this forum.

posted 07-03-2001 05:01 PM            

Ever since Bashful posted his first thread this forum.... It's all downhill from there.

I guess the golden age is gone, for good.

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Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

- Roosevelt

posted 07-04-2001 04:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Fanny:
I feel like saluting, clapping, shouting, throwing confetti!!! males talking about being men! What could be better? Yes, that is what we woman want. And one other thing I add to your list, nobility. A few of your points touched it, but I thought it needed a little more attention. Standing up for what you belive (and beliving something worthwile) and being the kind of person who belives that anything worth doing, is worth doing well. I wish all men, and women, would strive for such personality traits.
From a Woman

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Good to see that you like Pook's post, Fanny.

Welcome to our site. Its rare that we have females guests. So, please post again. Female perpectives are very rare around here and right now more than ever, we desperately need them.

Please stay and continue to post your questions and opinions. This is a place where you WILL be appreciated.

Sincerely,